here i am

just sitting here

 

no sad music playing, just happy music

no sad images, happy funnny pictures

no cold, just warmth

nothing to hurt me, all things to care

 

and here i am

sitting here

 

crying

panicking

freaking out

 

that feeling comes, i feel it in my knees and stomach

then it spreads throughout my body

 

to my pouding heart

to my scattered brain

to my shaking hands

 

and i lose it

 

 

 

today was supposed to be a good day 

i was fine

i was fine

i was fine

i was........

 

 

 

....and still am....

 

 

....fine broken