daniel ha; 

                 the moment i knew

» When I first heard of everything going on, i suddenly broke down crying, even before i could process everything that was thrown at me. All i knew was it was bad news and it involved my  closest friend.  i miss you dan ha, where are you now? are you safe? are you feeling better? you're probably sleeping, or maybe you're awake and thinking about everyone who's probably worried sick about you, you'll probably see all these letters and start to feel bad, as if you were the one who put us through the suffering, like everyone was your fault, but don't you think that, ha, don't you think that. you are like any victim, you are not the reason, but the outcome. i hope you know how much we miss you, and i hope you miss us too. come back soon, spazz to us, rant to us about how horrible it was to stay in the hospital, how tiring it is. let's facetime again, i miss your face, i miss hearing your voice, your whack laugh, and that smile you always had. do you still have the smile now? are you smiling still even though you're suffering, even though you're going through pain, even though most of us know you're crying at night? you cry at the mess you are now? don't you care, dan, don't you dare, because god damn it, i will cry. i don't want you to tell me how much you suffered, isntead tell me how glad you are that you're okay, that you are fine, that everything about you is okay. maybe not perfect, but okay is a start.
by the time you read this, that means you're okay now.