where do i even begin?

i guess i'll start off with how nervous i feel writing this letter. for some reason, i'm just scared of what i have to say? does that make sense? sobs. 

or maybe it has to do with the fact that you're my best friend and i miss you so, so much.

i heard that you're fighting, and i'm so proud of you. i know how strong you are and sobs. i'm really happy.

keep fighting, okay? i'm coming to washington in a few weeks, so i'll be able to come sit by your side, and take care of you like the mother i tend to be.

but omfg, okay let me catch you up:

- i'm still perf. oBvs.

- victoria is still nuts over you. she misses you so much and really adores you.

- i hATE OH SEHUN, WATCH OVERDOSE AND U WILL SEE WHY BECUS OMFG HE IS JSUT U GH AND.KAI AND BAEKHYUN.AND.SOBS DAN U JUST.DON'T EVEN KNOW.

- watch game of thrones. like rn becus omfg. 

- i asked myself to prom. it was very romantic.

- i started writing drabbles again. i used to write them a lot but got lazy. i'll send them to you so you can read them, okay? they're something i want to show you.

- tiffany has cLIMBED MY BIASLIST SO HARD LIKE.OMFG SOBS. WILL SPAM YOU WITH PICTURES OF HER LATER TBQH. BECUS SHE IS YOUR ULTIMATE BIAS, I THINK SO SOBS.

- still haven't watched miracle in cell no.7 tbqh. sobs. but i will have by the time you come back.

- you are still a ghetto dumb crepe tbqh. that probably won't ever change.

- i think about you every day. i see links on tumblr, pictures of corgis, gifs of animes, snsd, funny posts, etc. and i have so many stories to tell you once we can talk. omg. you're probably going to get punched in the face with spam tbQh. sobs.

but all joking aside. i miss you dan. i'm not sad, and i hope you aren't either. i'm really looking forward to the day you get out, and come back like "mOCHA" out of nowhere, and i will be so happy. or when i go to visit you. i have gifts, omg. and you neVER TOLD ME YOUR SHIRT SIZE YOU DUMB. SOBS.

but omg, yeah. i miss you lots and lots. and keep fighting, okay?

i'm sorry this probably isn't as long, or sweet, or personal as other letters probably are. it's hard for me. but, i will explain everything to you when we can talk again. i really am sorry. but i miss you so so much. and i'm so proud of you. i keep saying it but sobs, i really mean it.

and and.

i love you, okay. you're still my dandumb ghetto best friend. and that hasn't changed.

i wish this letter was as pretty and deep as the other ones, which is why i originally privated it. i feel like you deserve such a better one but sobs. yOLO OKAY. THE FEELINGS AND CARE ARE REAL AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS RIGHT. SOBS.

but yeah. i'm glad you can come online, even if we can't really talk, and it's only once a week. your health is most important. but sobs, i should probably tell you that i'm going to washington on june 10. sHHhHHh. just let me go, okay?

i'm praying for you, and each day, i think of you.

and by the time you read this, it means you're okay.