bambi's is entire existence is basically that moment when you're leaning back in your chair and you almost tip over. as a very anxious person, bambi is afraid of just about everything. everything can kill her and nothing is safe, and if something can go wrong, it will go wrong. call her obsessive, but bambi has at least five backup plans and 25 backup backup plans to counter-act any worse case scenario that wriggles its way into her brain. bambi often second-guesses herself, and third-guesses, so she must do things impulsively if she wants to get anything done. bambi can never just go with her intuition because she doesn't believe in herself that much. she's a very self-concious person and considers everything about herself to be one giant flaw. she has a habit of sabotaging herself, ruining things for herself just as things were going swimmingly. bambi takes everything personally and worries about every little thing. and telling her that "worrying is silly" just makes her worry more like "wow am i worrying too much? what if they call me silly again?". because of her constant worrying, she has difficulty accepting compliments because what if they're playing a joke on her? she also freezes up and breaks out in a sweat when she's expected to return friendly gestures. bambi is almost always suspicious of other people's ulterior motives. she wears a lot of armor. cold, heavy, affection-proof armor covered with spikes that she developed as a kid.

bambi is basically and 85 year old man who has no clue how anything works these days. whenever sometimes tries to show her how to use a computer, bambi just looks at it like its some kind of witchcraft. everything's too confusing and too technological and bambi misses the days where things were just paper and pencil. she tends to reminisce on things she wasn't even alive for, like who could forget the smooth jazz of frank sinatra? she's also arguably the cheapest person on the planet and refuses to pay more than she has to. bambi is genuinely concerned when people say they spent 60 bucks on pants; 60 bucks can get bambi an new wardrobe with an actual wardrobe to go with it.

is she a hipster, or has she just not grown out of her socially awkward teenager phrase? that's the main question going through everyone's mind when they meet bambi. she's terrible at social situations, there should be a jail for people who can't socialize and she should be locked up for the rest of her life. bambi breaks out in a cold sweat at the thought of making eye contact with a stranger or aquiantance, and bambi's idea of eye contact is looking in that person's general direction. handshakes are the absolute worst for bambi. is it gonna be a normal one, or are we gonna bump it, are we gonna blow it up? she just doesn't know and that stresses her out a lot. bambi tells too many bad puns and just in general is terribly unfunny but refuses to acknowledge it, so every time she opens people either groan, cringe, or prepare to laugh because odds are: mbambi will make a fool of herself. she hates meeting "friends of a friend" because then the friend'll leave and bambi'll have to maintain that 49% smile that lets everyone know she's only pretending to enjoy herself. acceptance is the first step to help but bambi will not admit that she's the most awkward person on the planet and she thinks she's so smooth that "she has to ask annie if she's okay" (her words). she tries doing suave tricks like balancing five drinks on a tray made for four (and we all know how that ends).

bambi, in her opinion, cares way to much about other people. she's always running himself into the ground making sure everyone else is taken care of. its honestly no surprise that bambi is very much like a mother figure and has a sixth sense that tells her when one of her members are in danger. nothing else--not even her own fears, inhibitions, or life--aren't as important as making sure that person is safe. bambi can be very bossy, always telling people that they should do something a specific way and taking control nearly all the time. she can make people feel terrible because she rarely praises people but criticizes nearly all the time. she can make people three times her size cry and tremble in fear because she is not someone you want to mess with. bambi is super tough okay?? pick on her and she'll mess you up, capiche? bambi has many more feelings than she lets on, but she also feels she needs to have a wall erected around her 24/7 otherwise she'll be torn apart by people. even though she may beat the living outta you if you touch her, bambi is secretly a huge softie and just needs a big little push to open up and let someone romance her.
 

bambi's life was rather uneventful for the first few years of life. she had three older sisters: lee eun kyu, lee jin kyu, and lee soon kyu. bambi didn't share the same fear of fireworks like her sisters did, mainly because she was born after they moved to korea, which was around the time of the gulf war in kuwait. bambi came from a musical family, her father was in a college band with bae chul soo and bambi and soonkyu seemed to have very lovely singing voices. her parents like to say that bambi was singing since before she could speak, and it was pretty true. bambi would give her little gurgles and cries and little melody and turned it into music. bambi and soonkyu loved to sing and dance together, and soonkyu was bambi's closest friend for a really long while. bambi was 3 when soonkyu first became a trainee under starlight entertainment. soonkyu was suppoused to debut in a musical duo called "sugar" and one of her other sisters were to be the manager of that group, but the group disbanded before its debut. bambi was 12 when soonkyu became "sunny" and a member of snsd in 2007, and that's when their sisterly friendship went sour.

since sunny's debut, her parents seemed to hail sunny as the favorite child. they'd always talk about sunny and tell bambi to aspire to be just like her unnie. bambi had always been a more introverted child, much more interested in books than in people and never had more than two friends at a time. since sunny wasn't at home as often, she seemed to worry about her baby sister more than usual. even to the point where she'd begin to say things to bambi's friends like, "please watch over my baby sister!". bambi didn't really understand why sunny was acting that way, it all seemed so odd, but thanks to sunny so openly labeling bambi as her sister, bambi recieved an influx of people who wanted to be her "friend".

of course they really didn't want to be bambi's friend and instead wanted to try and get close with snsd. bambi rejected them from the start, much rather having the company of books who had no clue who she was related too. bambi eventually put two and two together and figured that sunny really wanted her to have a friend so she "wouldn't be lonely without unnie". bambi was really upset because she didn't need to be coddled and she could make her own friends. she just didn't want any.

at bambi's school, they got two new transfer students from south africa, twins, and according to the gossip they were raising hell. bambi didn't pay much attention to the gossip, because she didn't really care about the transfer students. one day, as she was walking to class with a sherlock holmes book in her hand, she bumped into someone in the hallway and was knocked to the ground. dazed and confused, she looked up to see pretty petal lips pressed into a thin line, and bambi's heart skipped a beat. she looked around her, her peers were watching with baited breath and bambi heard some whisper, "that transfer student is gonna kick ae kyu's !" and "man it was nice knowing her," and, "i heard the transfer student once slammed this chick's face into a desk and the chick had to get facial reconstrustion surgery,".

bambi broke out in a cold sweat, her mind was thinking of every terrible thiing that could happen to her in that moment and soon enough, she felt herself having a panic attack. the transfer student quirked a finely plucked eyebrow at bambi before recognizing what was going on. she lifted bambi to her feet and dragged her away from the crowded hall by the wrist, and bambi's anxiety grew worse and she started crying really hard and it was difficult for her to breathe. the transfer student took her to the nurse's office and sat her down on the bed, "are you okay?" she asked.

bambi didn't understand the question, "p-please don't slam my face into a desk!"

"seriously?" the transfer student sighed, "i say three words to you and you think i'm a criminal?"

"i-i didn't mean it that way i just--"

"it's whatever. i get it a lot," the transfer student noticed bambi's tears had stopped, "i'm kwon winnie, the transfer student,"

that was the day bambi met her best friend.

for the longest time, bambi had wanted to go into the entertainemnt industry like all of her sisters, but never tried to pursue the opprotunity because she didn't want to be compared to her sister. but thanks to winnie's encourgaement, bambi decided to audition for, really the only label she felt like she had a chance under: sm. as she was going through with her audition, she noticed the judges going through her application and murmuring to one another. after the auditions, they pulled her to the side and immediately said, "maybe it would be best if you didn't audition for sm. you are talented, but you would be at an unfair advantage compared to other trainees and would most likely be subjected to favoritism from the coaches," they also heavily implied that she'd be harrassed constantly because of her sister's status as an snsd member.

bambi just didn't know what to do with herself. she wanted to disappear under a bus because she could never compare to sunny and sunny served as a major roadblock in trying to reach her goals. and bambi found it dumb because wasn't jessica's sister a trainee? winnie was her support all the way through, and even introduced her to amour ent. after spending a while looking up record labels. winnie set up an audition for bambi at amour and surprised her with the audition. bambi sang her ehart out between being upset and grateful towards winnie. when she actually got a call back from amour, she almost kissed winnie. bambi trained for two years before becoming a member of stardust.

RELATIONSHIPS: 

sister | "sunny" lee soonkyu | 25 | lead vocalist of snsd | 5 | bambi seems to isolate herself from sunny and tries to avoid her at all costs, while sunny is rather clueless to her younger sister's feelings. sunny likes to hug and kiss her sister and always brings attention to the fact that they are sisters and says things like, "please support my sister!" and "please watch over my sister!". bambi feels a bit of resentment and jealousy towards sunny. sunny has always been the family's pride and sm's pride and bambi has always been stuck in her sister's shadow. she's always "so like sunny". her voice is like sunny, she's short like sunny, her face is like sunny's, yet sunny is always better. sunny has always tried to coddle her and treat her like a little baby and tried to get bambi friends by dropping her name a few times and that was something that really ticked bambi off because she feels that sunny must think that bambi is useless and socially inept without her.

best friend | winnie kwon | 19 | blogger | 10 | the two are two sides of the same coin, and one without the other is a setup for failure. they argue and call each other names and cuss each other out while wrestling over who gets to use the bathroom first. winnie irritates bambi to no end with her laziness and her haughtyness and how she just sits there and blogs all day, what is she even blogging about? bambi doesn't know. they can share everything from tmi things to dumb things to sad things.

yes, everyone knows winnie as that totally hardcore babe who does mosh pits and gets in trouble with the cops and raises hell. and to an extent, she lives up to her image. the babe with a sharp tongue and constant unamused look on her face. winnie can be brutal as hell. if you stand in her way, she'll step on your face without a second thought. she's pro-girl, and she won't tolerate any ist bull, and she won't hesitate to say you look like a shaved cat or say you were rocking the london look before it was even cool. there is a fine line between sassy and being an and winnie crosses that line nearly every day. despite her pretty face, she will not hesitate to give you a 20 minute lecture on why you're awful with cited sources. she will not hesitate to say you look like a nasty shaved cat, or that you're more disgusting than macklemore and that you need to stay at least 100 feet away from her. she knows she's being rude, she acknowldeges it, but she'd never apologize for it, if anything it was your fault for giving her material to talk about because winnie is never unjustified. winnie, in her opinion, feels like she should "abe lincoln's daughter" because this chick is the most honest thing on the planet. in fact, her honesty would be a bit cute if she wasn't so... herself. many men who were lured in by her beauty will quickly do a heel-face-turn as soon as she opens with her "tell it like it is" personality.

she really hates how being a is a bad thing. like hey, you're gettin' some good for you. what's next, are you gonna tell her she dresses nicely? winnie is really forward, ually speaking. she isn't one to beat around the bush or be coy or stand there and blush as their hands brush together and her skirt blows in the wind while the sakura blossoms fall to the beat of her kokoro. like she will tell someone up front if she thinks they're fine or cute or even mildly attractive. she also is very open about her uality and does believe in one night stands and flings as long as there's contraception.

she also argues the price of everything and you best believe that winnie's cupon game is so ing raw that she once got a $1300 18 karat white gold and jade necklace for her gram-gram's birthday for only $350 dollars. if you give her money and tell her to pick up "an arizona tea and one reese cup" she will come back with a gallon of tea, two king sized packs of reese, and the money you gave her. no one knows how she does it, but winnie can always get a great deal, no matter where she is. winniee's cheap as hell and refuses to pay more than what she feels she deserves--learned from gram-gram. you're paying sixty bucks for a pair of pants? nah son, let unnie handle this. she'll come back with a whole new wardrobe for you. she gets really upset when people spend money frivilously on stupid things like beauty products and name brand clothes and 18-ply toilet paper.

she puts on an apathetic front, no she doesn't really care, why should she? yeah you could totally go jump off a cliff right now and she wouldn't even bat an eye. what? y-you actually did it? b-baka why would you do something like that? i-i'm not worried as you because i care, i'm worried because you could be really hurt! sh-shut up it isn't the same thing! winnie is possibly the least direct person when it comes to her feelings. feelings are for the weak and she doesn't have any. winnie claims to be lacking a heart and while most people believe her, those who are close to her know how soft winnie can be. she watches over everyone in her own little way, often operating behind the scenes. if someone's sad, she'll make them some dumplings and leave them in the open where they can find them. winnie mostly expresses things through body languages and her eyes, so one has to be paying attention or else you'll miss the hidden meaning behind winnie's words.

their interactions
these two are peas in a pod, they know exactly how to make each other shine. the two are very close and exchange a lot of intimate gestures like cuddling and playing video games. they shower together and do each other's hair and sleep in the same bed. they would both much rather stay in on a friday night, so the two make blanket forts and order chinese food and just in general have a girls night where they do each others makeup and talk about boys. the two have seen everything about each other: barefaced, , the aftermath of eating a 7-bean burrito, after no sleep, winnie and bambi will remain together forever. they will also fiercely shoot down any rumors about the other. winnie is a touchy feely loser who's always looking for an excuse to grab bambi's . she practically worships it and mentions it every five minutes. winnie is, in fact, the only person with permission to touch bambi's . they like to talk mad smack and eat junk food and laze around watching bad movies together. they've actually shared many secrets and insecurities and there have been many times where bambi has cried on winnie's shoulder, and many times where winnie cried on bambi's.

the two are very close and its almost as if they've know each other their entire lives. they bring out the best in each other, and are often each other's support. winnie likes dragging bambi on cute dates like stargazing on the rooftop of her hanok, they talk about everything and nothing. they go on picnics when its warm and cuddle while watching horrible movies when its cold. they tend to stay in a lot, but will sometimes venture to the aquarium to look at little fishies and shy sharkies. they go to planetariums and go to concerts. they play a bunch of board games which usually end in bambi flipping the board or throwing a piece at winnie. they just do a bunch of little domestic things with the little time they can spend together. bambi's favorite thing is when she's alone with winnie and they can be gross together.

winie brings unfamiliar butterflies to bambi's tummy, and they're not anxiety butterflies. every time she's near winnie, she wants to curl up in a ball and kiss her face because she's so cute and dumb. bambi's absolutely smitten with her, and if she catches winnie staring at her like she's the most precious thing in the world, bambi'll get really shy and call winnie a dummy. winnie brings bambi out of her shell and convinces her to do things she usually wouldn't do like skinny dipping and midnight adventures. everyone seems to notice that bambi is happier with winnie, her smile burns brighter, she glows, and her anxieties are a thing of the past, winnie just makes her a better person.

bambi is just so cute and nice and pretty and tiny and winnie just has a lot of feelings for her, okay?? she's always proud to hold his friend's hand in public. she celebrates bambi's little victories and brags about bambi to her family. even though they aren't together often due to bambi's training and shows, she loves sending bambi dumb and ugly snapchats. she's on winnie's mind a lot, and she'll often google their latest debate on whether battlestar galatica or star trek was better. winnie just respects bambi and thinks so highly of her, she's everything she's not. she listens to everything bambi has to say and has even picked up on some of bambi's habits.


their past
at bambi's school, they got two new transfer students from south africa, twins, and according to the gossip they were raising hell. bambi didn't pay much attention to the gossip, because she didn't really care about the transfer students. one day, as she was walking to class with a sherlock holmes book in her hand, she bumped into someone in the hallway and was knocked to the ground. dazed and confused, she looked up to see pretty petal lips pressed into a thin line, and bambi's heart skipped a beat. she looked around her, her peers were watching with baited breath and bambi heard some whisper, "that transfer student is gonna kick ae kyu's !" and "man it was nice knowing her," and, "i heard the transfer student once slammed this chick's face into a desk and the chick had to get facial reconstrustion surgery,".

bambi broke out in a cold sweat, her mind was thinking of every terrible thiing that could happen to her in that moment and soon enough, she felt herself having a panic attack. the transfer student quirked a finely plucked eyebrow at bambi before recognizing what was going on. she lifted bambi to her feet and dragged her away from the crowded hall by the wrist, and bambi's anxiety grew worse and she started crying really hard and it was difficult for her to breathe. the transfer student took her to the nurse's office and sat her down on the bed, "are you okay?" she asked.

bambi didn't understand the question, "p-please don't slam my face into a desk!"

"seriously?" the transfer student sighed, "i say three words to you and you think i'm a criminal?"

"i-i didn't mean it that way i just--"

"it's whatever. i get it a lot," the transfer student noticed bambi's tears had stopped, "i'm kwon winnie, the transfer student,"

that was the day bambi met her best friend.

bambi and winnie did pretty much everything together, and winnie didn't even know who snsd was! winnie was just so cool and magical to bambi, although bambi couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy in her chest whenever winnie would talk about her latest fling with a hot stud. winnie encouraged bambi to audition for sm, and comforted her and offered to pour acetone nail polish all over the judge's car for saying what they did to bambi. winnie didn't want bambi's passion for singing to burn out over something dumb like that, so she always asked bambi to sing for her, and eventually found out about amour entertainment. she immediately scheduled an audition for bambi, and on the day of the audition, blindfolded bambi and led her to the amour building hand in hand. winnie removed the blindfold in the audition room and forced bambi to sing with little preparation. when she actually got a call back from amour after the audition, bambi was so overjoyed that she grabbed winnie's cheeks and almost pressed their lips together.

she stopped just as they were inches apart and reflected on her current situation. here she was, in her underwear, surround by junk food, on her bed, almost kissing her best friend. she should be pulling away and laughing, right? but for some reason she was stuck there, and winnie seemed stuck too. "w-winnie," damn it, her voice sounded so meek and needy.

"y-yeah...," slowly, the girls managed to find the will to pull away, and laughed it off with a, "that almost got way gayer than it needed to, am i right?".

later that night as the two was in bed, winnie suggling up to bambi's side, bambi looked up at her bland ceiling and felt her heart race with every little movement winnie seemed to make. their almost kiss was freshly imprinted in her mind. her hands were claming and her face grew hot just thinking about it. that was the night bambi realized she was in love.

their future
bambi never acted on her feelings, and her time with winnie was now limited thanks to training and preparing for debut. she skypes with winnie--after winnie takes the challenged of trying to teach bambi how a laptop works--at least every other day, checking up on winnie and her family. they often talk late into the night, until one of them (usually bambi) passes out from extreme exhaustion. one day, as stardust is starting to pick up noteriety, bambi passes out skyping winnie again. when she awakes, she finds a message winnie left for her "okay so i really didn't know how to tell you this, and this way was probs the worst way ever but i'm going back to south africa with my family. mom's job got transferred back there and i'm going with mom to try and find my calling. the flight leaves tonight at 7:30. i know you have a concert at that time, so you won't be able to see my off. good luck with the idol business shortcake! um, i also kinda wanted to tell you, i really wish i would've kissed you that night. i like you a lot no that's that's not right... i'm in love with you lee ae kyu. dammit why did i say that i just made it harder for myself. okay look i'm rambling so i'm just gonna go now okay? goodnight"

bambi sobbed her eyes out, she did have a concert with stardust at 7:30. in fact, 7:30 would be in the middle of the concert. but bambi just couldn't let winnie leave without getting to say goodbye, but she was sure that the manager would kill her if she wanted to cancel the concert. bambi kept panicking until 7:00 that night. she had just gotten off stage, to make room for another member's solo. she decided it'd be now or never. she got dressed in a spare janitor's outfit and managed to sneak past the stage crew and manager undetected. 

traffic was packed and bambi would never make it in time if she waited for a taxi, so bambi ran. although in hindsight, running was pretty dumb too. why didn't she just take the subway? because love makes you do crazy things. anyway, she made it to the airport at 7:20, and she immediately asked what terminal the next flight to south africa would be in. she made a mad dash there, despite the fact that her legs were about ready to give out. in the crowd, she saw winnie and her mom getting ready to board the plane. seeing winnie's face seemed to give her the final push to run the few final feet.

"winnie!" bambi shouted as she lunged at winnie, almost knocking the girl off her feet.

"what are you doing? don't you have a concert you need to be at?" winnie asked as she looked at the small girl's face, "and what's with the janitor getup?"

"i'm probably gonna be fired after tonight but i just really, really, really needed to see you before you left winnie! how come you didn't tell me sooner?"

"i didn't know how?"

"well you couldn't have at least told me you loved me? b-because i uh, i you know," winnie raised an eyebrow at bambi and giggled at the idol's flushed face, "i love you too," their faces were close once again and bambi felt her face growing even hotter. she stood on her tip toes to meet winnie's lip, and bambi could taste winnie's cherry chap stick when her phone chimed and the intercom chimed.

"where r u??? every1's waitin for u and i told them u were havin rlly bad diarrhea,"

"flight 392 to south africa preparing for take off,"
 

"w-we should get going," bambi sighed.

winnie made sure to kiss her deeply, "i wasn't going to let the opprotunity pass me by again. now go back to your concert,"


bambi managed to borrow a bike and biked her way back to the concert. she headed towards the bathroom where the manager was pleading with bambi to talk to him, to tell him if she was okay. the "janitor" snuck past him, and inside the bathroom, bambi removed her janitor getup and shyly opened the bathroom door, "i-i feel a lot better manager, it must've been something i ate!"

and with that, she headed back out to the stage, joining her lovely members who stalled for her by giving "speeches" of thanks to everyone important in their life.

nam hyeri wasn't stupid, and didn't believe the diarrhea thing one bit, so after the concert, she called bambi into her office to talk about what happened. bambi didn't even try to lie and instead cried about how she was doing it for love and friendship and she begged hyeri to not kick her out. "you do know some form of punishment is mandatory, right?"

and that's how bambi ended up working with amour's janitors during any free time she had (and hyeri made sure she had a fair amount of freetime) for the next three months.