For many people, writing the description and foreword or their story is the toughest part of the AFF writing process. It’s hard to take a complex story and boil it down to just a couple of sentences. But over the two year writing on this site, I’ve picked up a thing or two about the do’s and don’t’s of writing descriptions and foreword. However, I admonish you guys from taking this advice too seriously. These are just some pieces of advice that have worked for me.

Pretend you are a used car salesman: the foreword is what you are going to say about the car; the description is the Carfax.

The description isn’t the place for you to try and sell your story off as vague or mysterious. This is not where you should be trying to trick your reader. When people are going around looking for stories to read, they’re usually in a hurry to find something good. The description is one of the first things they see, so it has an enormous task. A good description (1) tells the reader exactly what it is they are getting themselves into. Readers are busy people, they don't have time to spend finding out if a vague description lives up to its hype. They want to know as soon as they read the description, (2) very briefly gives the story context and introduces the stakes/conflict, (3) introduces the overarching theme of the story.

What helps me is to follow the W’s: who, what, when, where, why. Who is the story about, what is going on, when does it happen, where does it happen, and why is this important? All this should typically result in a story description that is clear, coherent, and fairly represents your story. Try to keep it under 6 sentences. 1-3 would be ideal, I think. Avoid asking questions meant to “entice” the reader.

GOOD: Sunggyu’s efforts to salvage his chances at winning an anti-communism speech contest had all been with well-meaning intentions, but when things don’t go as planned, he learns just how powerful words can be.

Who – Sunggyu

What – Putting forth a lot of effort, making plans

When – during a speech contest

Where – probably in a contest venue of some kind

Why – to save his chances at winning

The overarching theme – the power of words

BAD: Can two people who’ve sworn to hate each other for all eternity put their differences aside to accomplish something they both care about?

BAD: When In Young’s mother runs away, she gets evicted and must find some other place to live. What happens when she moves in with 12 boys?

BAD: The year is 3456 and the Synthdroids have taken over the Earth and turned it into an industrial planet where they harvest energy to rekindle civilization on their own dying planet. What happens when one brave soul decides to stand up and fight against these crimes?

The “BAD” descriptions, I’ve dubbed them as bad for a couple of reasons: they’re too vague, they ask questions, they don’t tell us what the story is really about, who it’s about, etc. The first BAD description is too vague. We understand that it’s about a love-hate relationship between two people forced to work together. Good, but who is the story centrally about? What is at stake, and why are they forced to work together? What makes this different from every other love-hate story on AFF?

The second one is BAD because it asks an unnecessary question. She moves in 12 boys, and then asks the reader what they think will happen when she does. That’s all fine and dandy and I’m sure the reader does want to know what will happen. But instead of asking a question to “entice” the reader (really, it’s not even all that enticing), the description could have told us what the central problem is. Sure, she moves in with 12 boys but what’s wrong? What’s at stake? Is one of the 12 a murderous traitor, like Judas among the disciples? Or maybe each of them are criminals except one and she’s tasked with finding out which of them is innocent to save him from punishment by the law? Something? Either way, this description doesn’t tell us what the story is.

The 3^rd one is labeled BAD because although the subject is certainly interesting, it is a little too vague and too broad. It gives us some really interesting context for the story: it’s futuristic, set in a universe in which earth has been captured by other beings and exploited. Presumably, most earthly inhabitants don’t retaliate, and the story starts when one of them does fight back. Back it’d be nice to know who the central character is, and again, asks an unnecessary question. Instead of asking the reader what will happen when one person fights back, the description could instead have told us this person’s mechanism of retaliation and why his revolution may or may not work.

Forewords give a little more leeway, and this is where you can choose to be creative. Forewords are supposed to give the reader a little taste of your story and get a feel for your writing style. Typically shorter than a chapter, the goal of the foreword is to get your reader to read the 1^st chapter. Some people use it to post prologues and prefacing chapters, and that’s okay, too. You’re allowed to be vague in the foreword, if you don’t want to give everything away. But yeah, the main idea is to let the reader see how you write and give them an example of what the rest of the story will be like in terms of pacing, dialogic sequences, characterization, description, narration, etc.

This would also be the place to put trigger warnings, profanity and -related themes warnings, arnings of any kind. Also, if you have any pre-reading notes to include, they should be here, also. Pre-reading commentary and disclaimers and graphic/layout credits, too.

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT include character charts and character descriptions. They completely defeat the purpose of telling a story in the first place. Your readers will meet the characters in due time, so let your characters speak for themselves.

First sentence, first chapter: These are important because these are what will help the reader determine whether or not they want to continue reading. My tip: start in the middle of the action and tell the build-up story along the way, or start at the very beginning on the inciting incident (the event that gets the ball rolling). The inciting incident is usually a break from the status quo, so if you need to include a little context about the status quo, be very brief. Just like writing a song: don’t bore us, get to the chorus. So it goes with stories: get right to the action. (p.s. action doesn’t mean action scenes and fight scenes. It just means get to the parts in which the characters start interacting with the conflict).

First sentence is important, because readers are busy people with their own lives, and when they start reading your story, they will give you, at most, 5 sentences to hook them. Therefore, don’t waste your first sentence! Or your second sentence! Make every sentence count! Your readers are taking precious time to read your story, so you better respect that and not waste their time with unnecessary sentences! After doing some research, reading some commentary from real editors, here’s what I gathered:

How not to begin your story: Don’t start with your character waking up; don’t start with dream sequences; don’t start with your character walking into school on her first day; don’t start with descriptions of the weather; don’t start with character description; do not start by addressing the reader; do not start with a premonition; don’t start with clichés like ‘once upon a time’.

Personally, I think a couple of these can be tweaked around to make a perfectly acceptable first sentence, but I digress. I’m guilty of some of these things, yes, but I’m much more careful nowadays with how I want to start a story. Anyways, hopefully these things will help you figure out that first part of start a story on AFF. Descriptions and forewords will forever be a tricky thing to do, but I hope it gets easier as you go along. 

SOURCES:

1. Ja Konrath's Blog
2. Writer's Digest 1 & Writer's Digest 2
3. The Write Life