as they say, truth will set you  free.

but how can you tell it when somebody is bound to get hurt badly if you say it.

and if worst comes worst, death will be the biggest price to pay if this "truth" will be revealed

now that i know about this makes me restless.

makes me want to puke.

makes me want to kill.

makes me want to hide.

make me ashamed, 

makes me want to die

even though I'm also a victim.

I just wish that i'm ignorant, or simply naive or pathetically dumb zombie

or just pretend that i'm blind, deaf or mute just to ignore the pain.

superficially, its perfect, but its just a sugar coat to the rotten inside.

wow! how amazingly  pathetic this is.

life is really ironic.

always sneaking up on you.

and mistakes in the  past always bites you painfully in the ..

how can i trust again.

when the one whom i truly believed,

whom i respect through my life

is the one who ruined it.

how i longed to be a child again. 

a child who is absolutely innocent about the ruthless truth on this pseudo paradise we're living