Title (4/5) :

From the moment I saw the title, all I could ever think of was a person is going to die in this die. Well, this is just the title. I can't criticize the story here. But the only thing that makes this title too normal and overused, is that when I searched it, they were a lot of stories that has a title 'Last Breath'. But since this story is complete, I can't do anything about it.

Appearance (4/5) :

For your poster, it was good. very elegant and simple. The characters are there. But, can I ask? How old is SaeHee? 

I didn't have a hard time reading since the spacing between paragraphs and sentences are nice. But the stutters of SaeHee was too much to handle.

Foreward/Description (9/10) :

For your description, it was nice and well-written. It wasn't too much either. What I like about this is that, it gives a sense of reality into it. Yes, we all want fame. We all want to be beautiful and to please everyone. But death is something we can never escape. It gave me a fresh start.

For the foreward, it gave only an information that a reader can easily understand. It didn't give too much nor does it give a little. It gave them an idea to what's going to happen too. What I also like is that you did not put character profiles. Unlike other stories out there.

Plot/Storyline (17/20) :

It was a plot that is very known to other fanfictions. But what made it stand out is that you placed reality into it. You researched about the disease and its downfall. You wrote at how Kris can be a sentimental person. Placing his fans first before his health. (He has to wake up at 6 am and it's currently 1 am in your story.) For the plot, I cried at some parts. I felt those before. Being not able to breath and having seizure. It feels like Hell. Believe me. I know. Hehe. Your writing style was simply beautiful too. You delivered emotions that is difficult to deliver to the readers.

The downfall for this plot is that when SaeHee was stuttering, there was too many letters, to begin with. I had a hard time reading it too. I had to skip all those letters to just read the word. The ending was a bit rushed too, for me. I wish that Kris would talk to SaeHee before she dies. Telling her that she made a huge impact in his life as an idol. Doing all those things for me. I wish that was included.

Character Developmet (28/30) :

I absolutely love the characters. I love how each of them has a weakness. Yuri helplessly telling her sister to breath just to keep her alive. It showed that she really cared for her but she knows SaeHee can't stand by her side. So she spends her time being with her. It was really touching and very real.

SaeHee, of course, has her disease. She can't do anything. She can't lift her finger without giving so much effort. I can realte to her too. When I'm doing things that requires effort and can't be achieved by an average person. I tend to look up at my idols and think of their efforts. 

Kris, being the caring person, ditched his sleep and went to find his special fan. It was a nice thing to see if it happens in real life. Kris didn't think of, 'She's a fan, like any other fan out here.' He thought that if he visits and sees her in her last moments, it would change a person so much.

Use of Language / Mechanics (20/20) : 

I didn't see any profanities here. Even for one word. I love how you used easy-to-read words. People can easily read it without using the dictionary. You also described the feelings with depth too. (It made me cry. Trust me.) It gave a touch of heart to the readers out there too. 

Flow (9/10) : 

I love how the letters were placed in the story. It gave a sense of reality. (I always say this.) I love how each point of view of the characters were delivered too. You didn't add any fillers, that is one thing I like when it comes to this. I like how SaeHee's point of view was added. To give the readers a more detailed idea to what is going on.

Reader's View / Enjoyment :

It was breath-taking. The length had the right measurement making it easier to read. It was emotional too. Haha. 

Final Score (91/100)

Additional Comments :

To be honest, EXO has been overused these days. So I wasn't fan-girling much. I just thought of them as normal people. But all in all, your story was breath-taking but like I said in the plot. I just hope Kris would talk to SaeHee about anything to make her feel much more special. And like the title, you used to much 'breathe' and you used the 'final stretch' too much too.