So........ 

I'm kinda back on this site. I wasn't really planning on leaving it for so long in the first place.. But it just happened. 

Actually, I missed all of the people I used to talk to on aff. I didn't mean to stop talking to you all for so so so so long. I hope you'll all forgive me when I'll explain myself. 

As some of you already know (or maybe not) I have some family issues. It has been like that for a long time, but yeah... It kinda worsened. 

I think the very moment I stopped checking on aff was when I heard someone I really love a lot had a cerebral cancer. It all went so fast.... Watching that person suffer so much... I wasn't really in the mood for writing or going on my laptop. I still kept contact with people via my phone.. coz yeah you see the notfications and all... But if it was anything unrelated to my phone I honestly didn't give a . Sorry. I'm like that. Don't take it personnaly. To speak the truth, I may seem friendly and all but I'm quite on the mean and egoist side. That's maybe why I didn't feel like writing this until now. 

Anyways. 

Cerebral cancer. Little by little. Loss of several senses, like view... And even memories. It was horrible not to be recognized by someone who used to love you. I mean, I say "used to" coz ever since we learned that person had a cerebral cancer, I was already out of that person's memories. It hurts so much. It's quite ironic coz in the story I write one of the character suffers from the memorie loss of another character. Now I feel like I can write even better, hah. 

So... 

That person died. 

It wasn't surprising, I knew it. But yeah, I'm like that. I wasn't really hoping for a miracle but I guess humans are like that... Fooling bu themselves. 

And, what's even more ironic, I nearly died too! And you know why it's funny? Because in the story I write, the main character nearly died, FROM THE SAME DISEASE. Heart disease. Yeah I have so cardiac issues, so it seems. I didn't know I was so stressed out, but the doctor said I needed to try not to be too excited, or too angry, or whatever makes your heart beat faster. Well, in matters of love none of the boys that waste their time on me made my heart flutter, so I guess that's actually a good thing? NOT I'm actually really dumb coz I'm not showing off but there's a BUNCH of guys after me and I managed to feel something (I don't want to call it love okay) for someone I know I CANNOT be with. Even if I know he loves me too. 

So that's it. More happened but I guess my rant stops here. 

I don't mond if any of you didn't read this post till the end or even just the beginning. I just had to get it out of my chest. 

Even if it maybe doesn't seem so... I missed all of you, and I love you all. I'll try being more active from now on.