I've recently had problems.

It's just honestly some basic life problems, but it took a toll on me.

I had depression...3 years ago. At most, 3 people know of it. My family doesn't, some of my closest friends don't either. It's honestly not something you would talk about in, let's say, a normal conversation.

But anyways, I'm talking about this because I've recently felt the pain again. You know, the pain of not being able to breathe. A sudden pierce in your heart that you don't know where the origin was. That time where you can't eat of even drink because you can't. The feeling of nausea even though there's nothing you can puke out. 

That feeling. 

I guess I'm just stressed, or if something caused this, but I'm not the topic of this blog.

If you, or you have friends who are currently in this state, please help them or ask for help. Don't be like me and just keep it in there. It will kill you.

I've grown cold and uncaring. I've been snappy and too quiet. I refuse to make friends because I know they or I will leave again. And if I do make some, I keep them in a distance. THIS IS KILLING ME. 

Someone pulled me out of that state before, the first time I had depression, actually, there were multiple of them, and I was thankful, but the damage was too great and they couldn't fix me all the way. That's why I'm me right now.

My point is, even if you are "just an internet friend," you can make a big difference. A bigger difference than what you might imagine. 

My recent sadness quickly faded because of new friends I found :D. I can't physically hug them or thank them, but just talking to me, through the internet, that was enough.

I was sad for, at most, 4 days. That was it. There are times right now, when I don't talk to them I feel sad, but by the end of the day, we still chat like we were best of friends since we were born.

If you're going through this right now, open up to someone, and if they don't do anything, they're not worth your time. 

You can open up to your internet friends, as I did. They can help you, honest. And if they won't, I'm here. Hahaha, I can listen. 

You might not want any of your physical friends to know, but absorb the happy energy they give. None of my physical friends know of my state, lol, I don't need the entire population of my school worried about me, but they make me happy without them even knowing it. Laugh with them. Hang out with them. and  you'll slowly realize that SOMEONE is there for you, just don't close your heart yet. And don't hurt yourself. Please. It's not worth the scars.

And if you're one of those internet friends who knows about a situation of a friend, do something. Talk to them more often. Distract them. Do something. A little "Hello" might just brighten up a person's day. I'm not asking you to be there everytime now, I'm just asking you to help.

Also, if you know a physical friend or thinking that a friend of yours has depression, say something. You might be wrong, then AWESOME! If you're right, then, also, do something. You don't need to be that person's best friend, you just need to be A friend.

In conclusion to this long blog, "Don't take things too lightly." A simple frown or tear could mean something very deep.

It won't hurt to ask, it won't hurt to be a friend, but it will hurt if you're doing nothing.

Right now, I'm just grateful to these people (i shall use their nicknames. LOOL): BABYKITTY, GRANDMA, AND AHJUMMA!

Thanks for being there. And to those people who saved me from drowning in the darkness.

I would link their names, but I'm scared they'll scream at me for doing something stupid. again. Did I mention I was the youngest? Hahaha

This picture says it all

Once again, Don't take things too lightly. Be a friend, no matter what kind. Internet or physical, it doesn't matter. Just be there for them.

It's not the end of the world, you just need to find the right friends :D

Take care guys, don't be too sad. lol. There are people who care.