So, due to unfortunate events I've had to come to the decision to pretend that I don't like kpop to my family and (all by one) real life friends.

I know I'm giving up, because you all must know how hard being a kpop fan is unless you live in one of those countries that has kpop as a wide spread interest. If you live in one of those countries, you don't know how lucky you are.

So I've been pretty upset for a long time because of people constantly making fun of me and my interests everywhere I go, at college, at home, even by random people that I've never met before. At college whenever I am trying to watch an MV in peace there will be a constant string of insults and sly digs and nasty comments coming from behind me. I thought that I could just come home and listen in peace, I don't play my music loudly, I play it quietly so that nobody but me can hear but I still get from my mum and brother.

I used to be so close to my mum but now she upsets me all of the time. Just the other day she gave me this big fat speech that still makes me upset thinking about it now. She told me that her and my brother are just hoping and praying for the day where I 'get out of this phase', she told me that I'm immature, a child, acting like a 12 year old being obsessed with music, she told me that everybody else acts normal and I'm still being a kid. She told me that I'm awful to talk to, that she doesn't want to talk to me any more because I snap at her whenever she makes a comment about my music. She said that I've become closed minded and won't even give anything else a chance, that kpop has consumed my life.

A) how many of you are over 12? I bet most of you are. Since when was liking kpop a child's thing?

B) I watch anime, the vampire diaries, american horror story, many other tv shows, listen to other music as well, read books and whever somebody I know asks me to watch/read/listen to something that they like I DO IT FOR THEM! I am one of the only people that I know who will actually listen to a song that someone's suggested for them til the end, even if I may not like it, because it's important to the other person! God, and she calls me closed minded?

C) I only snap at you MOTHER when you kept saying over and over again 'Everybody's , Everybody's ' when you know I love it.

So, because of this, I don't feel like I can talk to her any more, I don't feel like I can be myself anywhere so I've taken my posters down, put my CD's in a drawer, changed my backgrounds and ring tones and given away all of my RP accounts. From now on, I'm not going to utter a word to anybody in real life about my love for kpop any more. It's too hard. All of the closed minded people are destroying my life, I feel guilty for listening to the music I love so now the only place I can be open is here.

This is the first entry to what will be my kpop closet diary. I know it's going to be hard at times but maybe one day I will be able to easily conceal it. At least I'll be going to university in September so it's half a year until I can be myself again.