I'm not going to lie or fake smile anymore.

I'm not okay, my heart is gone along with my once cheerful smile.

To know that my soon to be born child will grow up without his other  father.

To see that when he grows up, I will be haunted by how much he looks like the dino I loved.

I want my child to know that his father, Jang Dongwoo will always love him.

As do I, Nam Woohyun.

I will not wear my wedding band around my finger but on a necklace.

I can't pretend that I'm okay when in reality I'm ing depressed.

This place haunts me.

Should I just leave as well?

I don't to live in a place where memories of my once happy married life was.

I want to yell and cry about how unfair this is. 

But with the sobs that I need to choke back  I won't utter a word.

I love you Jang Dongwoo. 

But I also hate you for doing this to me.

I will take care of our child and make sure he knows his father left for this reason.

That he didn't want his husband to wait for him anymore.

Dongwoo, I know you're already gone. 

I love you, but I won't forgive you.

I'm going to leave soon. But I'm not sure when.

Life is cruel once you find happiness.

I know this beacuse, my only happiness walked away from me.

-Nam Woohyun