lately i'm having troubles on understanding myself

(given the pressure of choosing  a course for college)

idk. it feels like i'm losing my interest on the stuffs i spend most of my time into

like making graphics, for example. it's been more than a month since i closed my shop

and i joined only 2 graphic contests to 'preserve' my skills

i still make graphics these days but

idk, it was like i wasn't pouring my whole heart into it?

i don't know why.

i'm sick right now and there's a lot of things going in my mind

i can't stay still idk

i need another diversion but i don't know what to do 

i hate this feeling.