I find myself getting worse with each new search on ebay, or pricey purches from an online store. Usually I find some sort of entertainment from browsing random stores on ebay, looking up items that would pertain to my various cosplay outfits I have planned out, saving items to my watch list, looking up potential gift ideas and the occasional search of Kpop photocards. I used to never buy on impulse. I was always good withe just simply browsing. 

But now...in the past 3 hours I have bought a pair of earrings, $50 worth of shoes, and almost! And when I say almost I mean I almost pulled out my card from my wallet to buy a $50+ pair of pants. Orz. All three items pertaining to a cosplay. I bought the shoes so fast. >< it's scary. 

I hate the fact that I have money in my bank right now. It gives me an anxious feeling, like the need to spend it all before it disappears. I don't know why I feel like this. Why can I never save my money? I have this problem that I always think about, I find solutions here and there but I've never been able to stick to them. I need to have someone else manage my money instead. /cries

I probably wasted about a good $100-$150 this month....It's probably not as bad as I make it, I mean I have money in the bank, I'm not down to a penny or anything. But at this rate I'd probably be if I didn't hold myself back. 

Having money stresses me. Not having money worries me. Spending money makes me feel good. Realizing I've spent too much money makes me feel guilty.......