Be with her?

Recently I've been around close friends of mine trying to spend as much time together before I leave and recently one of my friends in the group, a girl would get really sad when we talk about me leaving soon. Sometimes she would cry and I or herself would lightly pull each other to hug. I assure her that I'm still here that I won't be gone until a few months and that I told them sooner so we can have fun in our last months together as friends and maybe make accepting that I will leave a little bit easier.

Now she tries to spend a lot of time being with me alone. And being as I also want to spend some time with her I invite her out. Technically going on dates together. We are just close friends. But I've heard some of my and her best friends say that she has feelings for me and by how she's been acting around me lately I also am convinced that she does.

A few days ago we got into an argument. I caught her kissing with her ex-boyfriend who was pretty much a female hygene product to her when they dated. They broke up because I saw her ex on a date with some other girl. I later confronted her about what she was doing and she was shocked seeing me.

She then accused me of stalking her and saying it's her own life that I should just leave her alone. That I lied about him cheating that the other girl was just his sister. By then she was crying and yelling at me. I've known her for a longer time than her ex and I got mad that she trusted him over me. I yelled back saying how could you trust him over me I know what his sister looks like and I'm positive he doesn't make out with his sister in the car. We both kept silent after that I was about to apologize I stepped out of line. Before I could she told me I was the worst friend ever and she will be glad once I leave and then walked away.

Yesterday I went to the store to get some shipping boxes and bumped into her. She seemed like she wanted to say something but I hurriedly picked up the boxes from the ground and made my way home to pack. I attended school this morning and asked for my transcripts. I was at the parking lot when I ran into her again she asked how my packing was going I thought she was still mad and just wanted to know when I would leave her life so I responded with a simple fine. She asked me to stay for a bit i really just wanted to leave then she begged for me to stay so i did. She then confessed she found out I was telling the truth all along and apologized for the things she said. Inside I couldn't accept her apology and still felt hurt. I didn't want her near me anymore but I gave her a quick hug saying it's all fine I forgive you.

When I let go of her she kept hugging me and I felt her crying. She gave me the ' I Love You Please don't Leave' speech. Honestly I think I feel the same way towards her but I know I'll have to leave soon and the feeling of having her let go of our childhood friendship just for some other guy it still pains me. I'm deciding to let her go but I don't know how to put it and I'm contemplating on doing long distance but it's a new relationship and it doesn't seem like it would work.

Please give a descriptive advice on what I should do. Not anything on follow my heart because seriously neither of my brain or heart can decide. Thanks for reading please reply asap

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jpigtom #1
If u're ready for LDR & u do love her..don't hesitate man! Actually ur story is a goodplot fot kryber story.hehe kidding
forgottenshoes #2
Maybe see how it goes for a month or two.If it doesnt work out then i guess it was never meant to be.In a long run youll find that special person if it's not her
_krystalized #3
if you really love her, you'd at least put a lot of effort to make it work in a long distance relationship. but first of all ask her if shes really committed into this.
Bo-Remi #4
how old are you? if you are under 20, just leave. you can accept her and have long distance relationship. Most of this relation wont last long. But if it work, it's what we call true love. I mean if you have no choice,dont give up your future. You can try to persude your parent to not leave. I mean try all the way of what you can think and if it doesnt work mabe it's fate. That is just what i think but i know it is easy said then done.
musiclover16 #5
woowww...thats HARD
if you really LOVE her, go for it. I mean why don't you try to be together. Ask her if she's willing to have a long distance relationship with you.
I know that kind of relationship is hard and some says it wont last long, but its still up to both of you. If you really love each other, take risk, it will be your measurement of your TRUST and LOVE.
And maybe someday you'll end up together, if not at least you try and no regrets for not trying. ^_^
Keenakeens #6
Sorry for all the typos :/
Keenakeens #7
As you have said yourself, you are not sure that it will work, but you have feelings for her. Please try to understand why she might have kissed her ex, maybe sshe thought you were never going to say anything and you were going to leave her with a broken heart, so before that could happen, she tried moving on. Except, she got mad you saw them kissing, I don't think she was more mad at you than she mad at herself, because you guys had an argument and she wouldn't be able to tell you how she feels because of the situation you caught her in(how would you react if you saw someone kissing their ex, and then telling you they love you?). She was frustrated, she didn't know what to do, she's all over the place, because she doesn't know how to handle you leaving. I know I keep talking about her her her, but for that doubt to go away, you have to understand why she did it first, i'm sure sshe didn't intend to break your trust. Anyway, for the long distance relationship, are you sure you feel the same way, do you think your feelings are going to grow more before you leave? Long distance relationships aren't for everyone, no matter how much you love each other, the no. 1 thing is trust, and it seems she has broken it. Fix the trust issue first, I canmot stress enough how important it is. After that, if you feel that your love for each other is something worth fighting for, then do the long distance, maybe fly/drive over once in a while to visit her, but of course, just because you want a l9ng distnace relationship, doesn't mean she's comfortable with the idea. Make sure she's on the same page as you and she's just as happy as you to do long distance. But please, fix the trust issue, talk to her about why she did whay she did, it really helps.
yo_wazzuop #8
if you really love this girl, well, i think you should take chances now..no matter what will happen, at least you can say you try..and you won't regret it in the end coz it'll help you become a better person by learning from it..(please don't be a coward like me..the 'what ifs' keeps haunting me til now..) don't let this things pass your way just like that.. fight for it and don't give up! ok?! goodluck on your decision bro.. i hope you'll make the right choice..
chloster #9
My one and only advice is "move on". ( harsh. (¬_¬) hell yeah...)

I really don't like long distance relationship. Fact, I hate it! Long distance not work for me.
Let's hit the reality; once she not trust you, put your friendship on line, and want you to leave (yeah because of emotional moment). Once she did it, there will be twice, thrice, and so on... More over you in long distance situation.

So. If you still like her, just tell her your feeling. If its me, I will just tell her what I feel, but she have to know that I can't (won't) be in relationship with her. I won't risk my trust and my feel on the line (again. Yeah never).
Ice_Trinh #10
Well...the way u said it...it seem like the both of u guy's don't know what to do...leave..don't leave...the chose's that we do in life itself is something that we choose to do...love hurts...yes...but the wait is more painful...I think talking about it and try to understand each other on how your as well as her's feeling r...I know that i am in my 20's and all...but the love part not just yet...but i have watched and listen to my friends as well...but one thing for sure is that not so long ago i said this to my brother..."If you r willing to wait...no matter how long it will be...then that person is the one that u can trust as well as love...but are u also willing to risk everything just because she has just said she love's u...but no matter what it will be remember that the chose's we/you make will always change things in life"...hopefully u can understand what i am trying to tell u...Good Luck...FIGHTINGGG!!!!
P.S.
Never give up on what u r wanting to do...we may only get one chance on thing...but remember that Love will always find a way around things...So Never Give up...
_pinocchio_ #11
wow uhm, if its just a crush leave it behind. You still feel hurt but you love her right? If you love her keep contacting her if you moved out of the country. Ifnyour feelings fade away for her youve made the right decission. If not you really love her and then well... Visit her and maybe mive back after sometime, I dont know if this would help because I think not but O did my best
Take care
Birdiizz #12
Talk to her, clear things out. Ask her why she acted like she didnt want you to leave, spent time with you as much as she could, but then she chose him over you when you were telling the truth and asked you to stay. Tell her feeling, and make sure to ask about her feeling about/toward you before she kissed her ex and after she apologized to you. Make sure you talk to her, clear problems/everything out then decide whether you'll stay with her or leave.
Good luck
leejuyon14 #13
long distance relationship.. if you both trust each other enough.. if both of you are not bothered by the distance.. if both of you can stay loyal to one another..

based on what you said she didnt believe you and she pick her ex over you well thats something but then again they say that when you love you should just go for it and just be ready for the outcome and so that you could learn from it..

the question is "are you willing to risk it??"



..well i did..
Kpopfan29 #14
I also say you should tell her you feelings. But this can go one of three ways. 1. You confess your love and try to make long distance work out between the two of you, 2. You confess your love but you tell her that you will not date her in the hopes that she can be with someone who can be there for her physically and emotionally when you can't or 3. You just don't tell her your feelings and remain friends. I am in no position to tell you what to do but i mean if she chose the guy who cheated on her against your truth, personally i would consider my feelings. Although people make mistakes which i understand, its good that you forgave her but never forget that it happened. Then again i don't know what her personality is like so I am not sure if she chose him over you because she was hurt that she was cheated on and didn't want to believe it and tried to defend him. Choose something that will make you happy. If talking to her makes you happy keep the connection going, if you think she should find love in someone else then tell her. I just hope you find what your looking for in the end of all this drama right now.
BaekYeon9 #15
You could just ditch everyone and be with her just kiddingXD. but seriously if you really love her then you should just let her go. let's just say you already left and you're having a long distance relationship with her, do you think she'd be really happy about that. yes, you're together but you're miles away from each other. anyways i'm just stating my opinion. well everything depends on you. good luck
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