Depression.

I don't usually write blogs.

Just stories when I'm happy and all. The past few weeks haven't been very good to me. 

Reality is something that makes you grow up fast, too fast. 

I don't really know what to expect when I turn 18 and go to live out on my own.  To be honest, I think I won't make it by 18, what if I die before 18?

Sounds better, but I'm still here for a reason. Maybe for good or for bad. Who knows. *sigh*

 

Well anyway, if I haven't introduced myself to you, if anyone reads this;

My name is Jamie and I'm an only child. I reside in the USA and I'm 16 years old. I enjoy Kpop way too much and I guess you could say it's an obsession.  It's the only thing that makes me smile these days.

Anyway, I have one true friend in reality. She might be taking me in because of the things going on in my family. Everyone says "You're brave, you're taking this well."

"You're only 16? You have the maturity of someone in their mid 20's."

Well, I guess that's what they think but I'm not brave. I'm not smart either. For s sake I can barely multiply. Simple math I can't even do. I live with a 13 year old and he's smarter than I.

It's really sad. 

My existence is sad.

Recently I have been diagnosed with depression. I have to go to therapy. And what's even worse, there might be something wrong with me. I have to do some blood tests and I'm afraid...who would be? But this is life. 

Life's a

 

And I can't do anything about it.

Back to Top ↑

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
annawhimsy #1
I know what you mean. Growing up is effing terrifying. Wasn't it yesterday that I was learning how to write and now my peers all know what they want to be. Who they want to be. And I haven't even figured out who I AM and I'm supposed to know who I WILL be. Yet it's full speed ahead, take the hardest classes, study the most, be the best. No more time to have fun, sleep, live, hang out with friends. Friends who know who they want to be but don't know how to get there and aren't trying to find out. Unlike me. I'm the opposite -- I'm trying to get there but I don't know where I'm going. Will that make me successful, or will I just be more tired? I'm so tired. I was falling asleep in class and I think the teacher saw me... whoops. Drinking something warm helps you to stay awake if you're falling asleep in class. Well, that was just me, rambling. I'm not going to say, "just keep trying your best and it'll all work out! Believe in yourself, and it'll all work out!" because I wish it was true but I don't even know if it is. All I can say is, try to be happy. There's a million bajillion people feeling the same way as you right now and chances are, they're willing to listen. And no matter what, don't give up. Fight that until it gives in.
Back to Top ↑