My first impression? Honestly when I read the tags I was thinking "not another Exo fanfic", I am actually getting sick of Exo fanfics as there are so many of them. As I read all the tags, I was very much intrigued by the ship involved. A not-so-popular ship always gets my attention. The description part honestly didn't give me enough of an idea, which is why I nearly didn't click the title.

Title

The title 'Damaged' I know for a fact, is overused on this website. I have read ichigosama's 2min titled 'Damaged', so I know what to expect with that title. It gives the whole story away. Also I had to write 'Damaged by freeXfall. It shows how overused the title is.

From the description I have come up with a title I would have used.

A Guardian's Tears

This title would intrigue me as when everyone thinks of Exo and the word 'guardian' they would automatically think of Suho. I would also be intrigued because I would be thinking "why is Suho crying?" Or "what's wrong with Suho?" It adds a certain mystery to the story.

Description & Foreword

The description to say the least, was very intriguing, the quotes you added made it seem more real. Though I have to say, I would have put the last line first with a few adjustments. People don't get a good idea of the fanfic when it is listed. I would have written something along the lines of:

Exo had achieved the desperately coveted 'triple win'. So why wouldn't the guardian's tears stop? Why wouldn't his nightmare end?

The foreword was basically non-existent. All you had was an author's note and a very short one at that. I would have liked to have gotten a small extract from the story. However the fact that you didn't elaborate, left me with suspense until the first chapter. I was not disappointed.

Originality, plot & flow

The originality surprised me actually. I thought that he would be abused by a member or one of his parents. The fact that a manager was abusing him was, in my opinion, original.

I like how you used the nickname Suho as to your advantage, how you turned it into a story. I thought that you would lose face to the 'guardian' plot. You didn't. Throughout the whole story so far, you have stuck to your plot and not strayed off topic. The plot may be not original is one sense, but in another sense it is.

The story seemed together and all the chapters seemed to be connected to each other. The story ran smoothly, and I didn't feel confused or stuck anytime.

Language

You obviously knew your grammar. There were no mistakes and that was nice, for a change.

Vocabulary

The words you used showed how good of a writer you were. Your descriptions were very detailed and you obviously didn't hold back on the long words. The words seemed to belong and didn't seem to be there just for show or as fillers. Your vocabulary range was very wide and you had very beautiful descriptions, it made it feel like it was real.

Characterization

The way you described your characters was the right way. You didn't explain their personality using adjectives or words, but through their actions. The way Tao was in their dorms, I got the enjoyable impression of an immature, whiny boy. Suho, his actions and sacrifices show how protective he is of s. I very much enjoyed the way you described Taemin. I got the impression of a confused and scared little boy who doesn't know what to do.

Overall

An overused title and a few problems with the description and foreword. That's all I have to complain about. The grammar, plot and basically everything else was beautifully done and very enjoyable to read. Yet again I praise you with your character descriptions. An awesome job overall.