okaaay so i've /finally/ catched up to the lastest episodes of supernatural and... i don't have words to express my feelings to what it's happening...

before you go on.. if you haven't seen the lastest episodes then don't read bc spoilers everywhere and also those are my super random feelings so just ignore OTL

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

my mind is a whirlwind right now.. 

first, there's cas.. /UGLY SOBBING/ POOR BABY CAS GOD I.. UGH IT JUST HURTS ME SO MUCH TO SEE HOW HE IS .. AND JUST THE FACT THAT DEAN KIND OF REJECTED (?, i mean.. not that kind of rejection lol) HIM /TWO/ FREAKING TIMES AND HIS FACE AFTERWARDS JUST BROKE MY HEART MAN.. I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW DISAPPOINTED I FELT OF DEAN (even tho i still love him so much /cries/) 

and then there's this Ezekiel dude who isn't even him bc the real Ezekiel is freKING DEAD AND THIS IS SOME DUDE, GRADEEL I THINK WAS HIS NAME, THAT IT'S ACTUALLY THE THIRD OUT OF THE FIVE SATANS (this is from wikipedia....) AND I CRY BC IT'S INSIDE SAM AND NOW THIS DUDE KNOWS THAT DEAN KNOWS THAT IT'S NOT HIM AND HE WENT AHEAD AND KILLED KEVIN AND I'M HERE LIKE WHAT THE HELL DUDE? YOU.. UGH (i wish i could kick him in the nuts but he's sam after all and yeah.. i will just mentally kick some anonymous dude... ) 

and then freaking metatron goddess.. this dude is so freaking annoying.. like he's the same as cas when he was drunk with power BUT TEN TIMES WORSE LIKE I JUST WANT HIM TO DISAPPEAR SO MUCH.. GET LOST FOREVER AND NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN .. HE JUST MAKES ME SO MAD /CRIES FOREVER/

and then.. there's dean.. /sobs/ i mean i like him so much, i just love him to pieces and he's love for sam just blows my mind (literally.. okay maybe not) but seriously i felt so hurt when he told cas he couldn't be with them (and twice nonetheless ._.) and ugh just looking at cas' face afterwards made me want to cry forever and ever and just never stop crying bc he looked so hurt.. 

and not even the fact that crowley is in their dungeon makes me feel better bc whatever who cares if he's there, i mean okay, it's better since he's not doing anything.. evil.. but i don't care.. /cries again/ there are so many other ed up things and ugh.. i just want to cry.. not to mention this abbadon dude, well it's a girl, i think .. (do demons have gender? o_o) whatever, she's so annoying .. and there are so mANY MORE ANNOYING THINGS AND THERE ARE NO GOOD ONES AND I AM NOT OKAY AT ALL.. THIS WAS NOT THE REALITY I EXPECTED.. 

I HATE ALL THOSE FEELS OMG HOW DOES ONE GET THE FEELS AWAY? SOMEONE EXPLAIN IT TO ME ><

(i have realized that i've said the word dude a hundred times but whatever lol)