Story Review to: I’m a Human you’re a Vampire

 

 

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/652042/i-m-a-human-you-re-vampire-you-himchan-bap

 

 

First impressions:

My first impression to the title was that I thought it would be very interesting, but at the same time I wasn’t too excited because it wasn’t that catchy.

 

Title:

My thoughts of the title were that it was a bit boring, but at the same time it was unique. It could use a bit more to pull in the reader. I think if you added a bit more interesting words like “I’m an Ordinary Human, You’re a Blood lusting Vampire.” I think that that would describe it just a tiny bit more.

 

Description & Forward:

I`m just going to tell you the truth. It was bad. You should have put in character traits, a short summery of the story telling you what it was going to be about. I like the quote you had though. You should just put a summery of the story right after the quote, then put the character descriptions in the forward.

 

Originality, Plot & Flow:

 

I think that the story itself was original, but too short. Because it was too short the flow wasn`t that great and it just skipped important parts of the story. Like when Dilla jumped into the whole it really confused me because she jumps into a whole that had several dragons in it, then all of a sudden she`s back out. The plot itself was good maybe if you added more chapters to it, it would be a lot better.

 

Language/Grammar:

 

Your grammar wasn’t the best. There were times that the words in the sentences were mixed up and I had to read over it a couple of times to understand it. A lot of words were in past tence when they should have been in present tence.

 

Vocabulary:

You had some really god vocabulary in the story, but I felt like you should have added more.

 

Characterization:

 

Your characters had good characterization. They were all really good. Maybe a bit more detail would also be good.

 

Overall:

 

 In the end I thought it was a good story. It could use a couple of changes, but like I said it was really good. I enjoyed reading it.

 

                                                               Review by: elfkali