I wrote this because I wanted people to know about my story. I don’t want any pity. I just wanted people to know. I’m not trying to get any attention. I just want to relive that burden that has been on my shoulder for the last few years. Writing this made me cry all my tears out. I feel happy to know that people knows my story. So I don’t have to feel so alone, but not alone. I have friends who care about me and support me. That’s all I need right now. All the things that I have written is true. It was the story of my dad. I love my dad very much. I will wait another 10 years, just to meet him.

`~

When I was 10 years old my mom told me that my step-dad wasn’t my dad, but another man from her previous marriage was. She told me that I was old enough to know about him. I was so shocked and sad. My mom told me that when I was around 1 and half years old, she and my dad got divorce. I was shocked by the news. I never knew I had another dad. I’ve always known that my step-dad wasn’t my dad. Growing up everyone told me that I looked nothing like my whole entire family. I wonder for years if I was adopted, but that wasn’t it. I came from my mom first marriage. My mom told me that she married my step-dad when I was 3 years old. When summer break came when I was 10. My family went back to Vietnam. My mom asked me if I would to meet my dad. I said yes. When I met him, I wanted to cry. He didn’t know my name, he didn’t when my birthday was and he didn’t know how old I was. I was devastated because he didn’t know anything about me. My mom told me to keep this secret away from my step-dad and my 3 brother. My step-dad doesn’t want me to ever see my dad. In that summer for 1 week I spent time with dad side of the family. I found out that my dad remarried and was expecting a child in 3 month. I never knew I was going to get another brother. When I left that summer my mom had asked me if I wanted to say goodbye to my dad. I said no. I regretted that ever since. Now that I’m older. I look back to that day when my mom asked me if I wanted to say goodbye. Every time I look back to that day, it bring me to tear because it been 4 years since I lasted seen my dad. I miss him so much. I don’t know what he looks like anymore. He gone from my memories. I don’t have the courage to ask my mom for a photo of my dad. I just wanted one photo of my dad, so I can remember him. I don’t have any baby picture because all the ones from when I was a baby had my dad in in, so my mom told my grandparents to keep it away from me. I was upset because of what she has done. I don’t feel like I belong in this family.  My mom loves my youngest brother more than anyone in the world. I was her first born and she hardly cares about me anymore.

Even though my dad has not been in my life for 13 years of my life. I still love him because he my dad and that won’t change anything. All I want is a picture of my dad. I want feel like I belong. I don’t want to feel like outsider.

 - I hope your living a happy life with your new family. I love you dad.