Well, this time, I hopped straight to it, and this is the result. I hope to blog a little more frequently in the future, too. Unless my blogging is stagnantly boring...

My latest internal monologue was inspired by spotting the word "queer" yet again in a fanfic. Not for the first time, I was taken aback to see it used so freely by an author. I thought, does it mean the same thing to them as it does to me? I'm British, is it my dialect? Because to me, it is a deeply engrained fact that 'queer' is a derogatory term to be avoided at all costs. It has deeply despisable connotations, and whenever I hear it I get a heavy feeling in my heart. I've heard it used in poor ways by hateful people. To me, it's simply offensive.

Seeing it used as an empowered or positive word was quite jarring. "Queer and proud", as the recently featured fic is titled, had me blinking at it for several minutes, trying to process it. It's quite clear to me that the author means no harm, I understand that. It's used so innocently there. But it got the cogs whirring.

I know quite a few gay people myself, and none of them would describe themselves as queer. Gay, perhaps, but with queer they would not identify. Well, let's take a look at the original meanings of the words- gay, in times not so long ago, was a term to describe someone showing their happiness. It was just like 'dandy'. But queer- it meant to be of questionable nature, to be strange and deviant. Well, means. That is the definition, give or take.

I hope you can see where I'm coming from when I say the word 'queer' is not the most flattering label to give to a social minority, baring this in mind. I also understand that at one point quite recently, gay was also used to insult others. This word has, for the most part, successfully been reclaimed. But then it occured to me, does this 'queer and proud' title suggest the same is happening with this word?

I looked it up- dictionary.com has something interesting to say about the matter;
"A reclaimed word is a word that was formerly used solely as a slur but that has been semantically overturned by members of the maligned group, who use it as a term of defiant pride. Queer is an example of a word undergoing this process. For decades queer was used solely as a derogatory adjective for gays and lesbians, but in the 1980s the term began to be used by gay and lesbian activists as a term of self-identification. Eventually, it came to be used as an umbrella term that included gay men, lesbians, biuals, and transgendered people. Nevertheless, a sizable percentage of people to whom this term might apply still hold queer to be a hateful insult, and its use by heterouals is often considered offensive. Similarly, other reclaimed words are usually offensive to the in-group when used by outsiders, so extreme caution must be taken concerning their use when one is not a member of the group."

After reading this, I realised I was a part of the sizable percentage (you don't have to be gay to support LBGT). Perhaps it is just me- I hold the same sentiment for the "n word", and the last sentence of the quote certainly works for the n word too. Notice I call it the n word rather than coming out with the actual slur.

So I'm just curious- what does 'queer' mean to you? I guess for me, old habits die hard- I just can't shake the bad connotations from the word.