I am still new in this school, last semester I transferred here due to many problems. But scratch that. I had told my best friend to get the same class I enrolled, and here we are trying to fit ourselves with the students having different course from our. Not to mention but this subject is Physical Education and I at it. My friends and I are Psychology students; unluckily we don't have a choice but to get a class with Computer Science students. We’re not complaining.

 

At first we felt very isolated, but after awhile we never cared, at least we tried not to. As our teacher sort us by our surnames, I silently sit at the ground (we were in the gym). When someone occupied the space beside me, I was startled for a moment. I didn't even look at him because I already know his face, not his name.

 

I was a fangirl but never I'm my wildest dream to imagine seeing someone who looks alike like my idol, srsly. I was gagging. As I looked at him, I always caught him glancing at me. I asked my friend, "Is it just me or he's really looking at me?" My friend knows that I was having a little crush on Mic. She looked at his direction and nudges her shoulder questionably.

 

She walked away when her name was called because of our practical exam. When she came back, I looked at her, "Hey! You know what I was looking at him while I was approaching you and I saw him staring at you." She said. She's not a friend who would tell you 'Hey your crush has crush on you' she's not that naïve. I blushed and looked at him but he wasn't looking at all.

 

Our P.E subject is only during on thursday, so I get to see him only on that day. But when I accidentally saw him during monday, I had a hint and knew his schedule and did all it takes to cross his path, I know I sound so desperate and like a stalker. But believe me or not I tried to hate him so the crush that's developing in me would lessen, truth be told I failed.

 

*

 

We we're having our different volley ball’s having practice before our exam. I wasn't really looking at where I am about to land; I was focused on the ball I'm tossing. When I had bump it high and far from reaching, I watched it as it landed on the floor, no! On someone's face. I saw it and my eyes wide in shock. It fell right straight to Mic's face.

 

"Oh my. Oppa, I'm sorry." I said. I saw him giving me a dagger look and for this once we were very very close, face four inches away from each other. I shivered when he's not reacting. So I walked passed by him and grabbed the ball, I turned around and told him that I was very sorry. I stopped and locked eyes with him. He looks angry, I'm doomed. And then he smiled at me, I was really confused. He smiled. Oh those eyes closing while he gave me his smile. My knees grew weaker.

 

"It's okay." He said. And I smiled sheepishly while I walked pass by him, my smile reaching ear to ear. My heart is beating faster than usual. Heart please stop. I cannot.

 

I saw my friend glancing at me then to Mic, giving me two thumbs up and I didn't missed that teasing smile flashed on her face.

 

*

 

As days, weeks pass. This worm inside me, grew into a butterfly. Tons of butterflies. And everytime I see him, my heart flutters. How come I developed this feelings towards him without even knowing the real him. I hate it. I hate him. I tried to hate him. I did hate him. But I failed. I know I was being unreasonable to hate him, but it was the only thing I could think of to stop liking him.

 

I felt the urge to talk to him, to be friends with him, to be around him and even to be more than friends with him. My heart was really out of control. My heart, it's betraying me, and I.. I couldn't do anything but to obey it. I was unsure of everything.

 

I stayed all night thinking of him. Then a thought came in my head, why don't I try to confess to him? It was really absurd of thinking like that.

 

I surpassed our P.E class without looking at him. The only thing I passed. Whooa. Achievement, for me.

 

All of my friends have an intimate relationship with someone special. And I envied them at times but I couldn't care less, I only cared more. Aish, this heart won't function properly.

 

 

 

I was waiting outside our school gym, I swallowed the lump that was forming inside my throat. I told my friends to go home first because I have to deal with something important. Here goes nothing, I saw Mic going out with his friend.

 

"I.. Uh. Mic.. Yun? Can I talk to you for a minute?" I said, stuttering.

 

At first Mic was unsure whether to say yes or no. I can read it withing his face. "Okay." He said. "Yeol, don't wait for me." He said and his friend left. He looked at him then to me. "What was that? Hmm. You want to talk right?" He asked.

 

"Uh. Yeah. Yeah." I paused. "I know, I'll be sounding weird but.." I heaved a sigh. "I... Ah. I really like you." I said finally. I saw hiw eyes widen in shock and step back.

 

"Mira." He paused. "I'm sorry but I'm already dating someone." He said and a tear escaped my eyes. It took me all the courage but with his word I felt stabbed and... Embarrassed.

 

After swallowing his words into my mind. I nod. "Uh. That's.. That's good." I said and breathe out all the air that was locked inside my lungs. My feet feel heavy and I literally needed to drag them to lessen my embarrassement. "I have to go. Sorry." I said.

 

"Don't say sorry. I know you'll find someone better and worthy." He said. Hearing those words from the person you like seems odd and hurtful and bashfull. I don't know but it hurts. I walked passed by him without saying any word. "Sorry." I heard him.

 

Sorry is all I could hear.