Title (4/5)

Yes, the title is original. In fact, I have never seen another story with its title, but your mistake is including a period at the end of the title. To be honest, I'm not sure if you can't put a period mark but itles are meant to catch your readers' eyes, and if you use a period mark, it indicates a full stop, and will halt your readers' eye. It is relevant to the story, as it is Yoojin's catchphrase. Sort of, anyway.

Description/Foreword (7/10)

The description doesn't interest me towards your story, I thought it was bland and that you could have come up with something better. Otherwise, you don't make any spelling or grammar mistake so that's good. You don't necessarily need to include a character list in the foreword, but that's okay and I don't deduct any marks for that.

Characterization (13/20)

The main protagonist—Kim Yoo Jin—is a perfect girl who excels at everything she does, doesn't care for boys and minds her own business. She acted like what I expected she would have. I must say though, she acted quite arrogant and smug. Mostly when she's talking to Sehun. Scratch that. Especially towards Sehun. An example would be the scene on Chapter 4 where Yoojin was actually Korea's most wanted photographer and she said her "welcome to life" catchphrase smugly. But I guess she behaved that way because she hated him (or not).

Meanwhile, Sehun is that popular newcomer who tried to flirt with the main character and failed miserably. Typical, but both the main characters are also full with pride. Yoojin bought Sehun bubble tea just to avoid him telling everyone about her asking for an autograph which isn't even for herself and how Sehun was cursing when Yoojin snapped a picture of him smiling to himself as he was sticking on his nameplate and threatened to blackmail him.

Plot/Originality (11/20)

Yes, the plot is cliché but I don't judge only by the originality, I'm also judging about the plot in overall. Any plot can be good if the writer can put the right words in. Unfortunately, I don't think you did very well in the plot department. I don't read any scenes on your story that separates it from the other cliché stories, and you can still fix this by adding a twist later in the future. 

Mechanics (grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc.) (19/20)

It seems you make a lot of spelling mistake because you're not editing most of the chapters. In some chapters, you also make grammar mistakes, but it's varied so I will assume it's also because you didn't edit the chapters. Also, don't use words like 'gawd' or 'halp' or such, because in a story you shouldn't use that kind of words, but AFF isn't a place where you post professional stories so leaving that won't be much of a problem if you're too lazy. I also noticed that you use capital letters when the character is shouting and this is not necessary. You also include a tilde (~) in one of the thoughts/sentence (I forgot, sorry) and you are wrong at the usage of the symbol. I am convinced that you're a native speaker who speaks fluent English, so I won't go furthermore than this.

Flow/Pace & Style (6/10)

The flow is slow. It's not too slow, but I felt like there's no progress at all except for Sehun wanting more bubble teas as the story goes on. You didn't include a romance tag, so I'm not sure if you're planning to make Sehun and Yoojin fall for each other. If that is so, then you should make them feel a slight attraction towards each other because I can't picture Sehun and Yoojin as nothing else but enemies right now.

I like your writing style, I just feel confused on who is saying what at times because you put the other person's action after the other's sentence and that's confusing. Also, you switch from 2nd POV in the first chapter to 1st POV in the rest. I suggest sticking with one POV.

Appearance (5/5)

I like everything about the appearance of your story. The poster is eye catching with its bright (and not eye-blinding bright) color scheme. You didn't use any backgrounds which is still nice. Your font and everything else is also neat and clean. Thumbs up for this.

Overall Enjoyment (8/10)

I enjoyed your story because of the funy scenes at some part, but then again I felt that the story flow is slow and that there's no progress among the story. The story is flawed but it has potential in getting better. Otherwise, it is still a decent read that select people would enjoy so don't worry.

Comment

This is my first time reviewing and my native language isn't English, so I'm sorry if I made any mistake. You've done a great job with your story. Good luck with your future stories! Don't be disheartened by the score, to me they're merely numbers. You can improve so don't worry too much about it.