Things I REALIZED WHILE TAKING A CRAP
- There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
- The road to success is always under construction.
- If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
- Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
- Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
- What you call dog with no legs?
- Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
- Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die..
- The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
- The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on
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