[School Blog] When I Grow Up..?

          So my superintendant (note; I have strange relationships with the staff in my school. Long story. Just note he and I are friendly and we both pick on each other. Like family. You know?) Anyway. My main councelor/teacher/mentor went on disability and she's gone. So he is in here, trying to figure out where her class goes. Me and this other girl - Mykah - are in here, left behind, to talk to him for an hour. Credits, classes, "Why are you here?" Etc., etc. And the inevitable question comes up to me, "What is your goal? What do you want to be when you grow up?" 

 

         | Uhm. 

 

         | Long story, Mr. D. 

 

        When I was little, my passionate dream I had was to be a ballerina. Oops, got a disabilitating disease when I was 11, so no ballerina or dancing dream for you, Zoe. So, mark that out. And for the past 5 years with this disease and dealing with hospitals and stupid nurses who don't even know how to access my port and end up hitting nerves- I wanted to be the nurse every child loved. But also, I want to be a doctor and help children. And then again, psychology is a passion of mine now. What do I do?

       So, I told him about my dream to go to OU (Oklahoma University - presigious college of Oklahoma, ahem) and how my old teacher basically stomped on my dreams and said I couldn't with how my grades (thanks to my disease, kthxbye) and well.. what do I do now? Should I be a freaking secretary or do some simplistic job I hate for the rest of my life? Uh, no. No thank you for that. 

 

My schooling career is jacked up thanks to my disease.
My plans are jacked up because of this stupid disease.
My life is off track and my old teacher gave me a sign up form to audition for a company in Los Angeles that hosts and trains dancers, singers, and actors. And I was like: SIGN OF FATE OMG.
Then I realized my other passion of being a doctor. 
So now I'm going crazy because my semester ends the 20th. I have a ton of work to get done - at least 100 assignments? I kid you freaking not. 
And I'm just sitting alone in this damn room trying to contain my emotions. What do I do? Someone talk to me or something because I'm freaking out. I'm a junior. Second to last year in high school and I need a plan! I never dreamed it'd be this hard. Omfg. 

 

It's so amazing, I'm going crazy-
U-Kiss' Amazing is sadly stuck in my head and it doesn't relate. ;-;
 

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Armita_kpop #1
What's your disease? is it really stopping you from achiving your dreams? if yes then you should give up on it and try to find a work that fits you well,overall anything that you choose has to be loved by you,no matter what job it is,if you have the talent and you love it then go for it no matter what people say. you should ENJOY working not working by force or else you'll end up getting depressed haha. that's my short advice /tootiredtowritemoretbhugh/ orz
funeelil1 #2
*read my first comment first*
Continued:

Your future should be built around your passion. So take every opportunity you have. Go for the audition, you never know what opportunities that might bring. And it's never to late to bring up your grades. You a junior right now, just try harder next semester and join extracurricular activities. Do community service. Make yourself look like a suitable candidate for college. Study well in advance for the SAT/ACT. Those do not solely define where you can go to college. If you don't get into the university you want, don't worry. I didn't get accepted to my top school. Or rather, I didn't get accepted into any UCs. Id no where accepts you the first time, you always have a second change through community college. You could take two years at community college and then transfers to your dream school. It is okay. It actually may be a money saver.

My point is, it's okay to not know right now. You're still young. I have classmates at my university who still don't know what they want to do in the future, but that isn't stopping them from trying their best and learning all while still searching for their passion. It is never to late. Always remember that.
funeelil1 #3
So I'm going to tell you what I've experienced and encountered. The question "what do you want to be in the future?" Or "what are your future goals?" Will always be asked even up until college graduation. There are several people who still are unsure of what they want to be, but eventually, they find their way to their passion.

And you can't let your disease take the blame for where you are at now. I have a friend who had a severe brain illness when he was young, having to go through several surgeries as a kid. When I met him, I would have never known he has the disease because of how smart and friendly he was. He never let his disease define himself, but used it has motivation to be the best he can be and let me tell you this, he graduated high school as our class's valedictorian. He ranked 1 out of nearly 300 seniors. Yet, he never let his disease bring him down.

I have another friend who loves sports, but an accident in middle school ruined his spine and almost left him paralyzed. He was such a basketball fanatic, but his doctor told him he would never get to play the way he used to play. He eventually found a passion in medicine, and is currently studying biology at a university. He still plays sports, just enough to fill in all the years he missed us to his injury and heart disease.

I personally never had problems as big as them, and in comparison to them, my goals were vivid and rather easier for me to attain. I'm already past my goal of graduation ad being accepted into college and am on the pathway to my dream..

All you need is a goal. Whether it be short term one, or a long one. My ultimate one is "to become a doctor". Sure I'm not sure what kind I want to be, but it's good to leave your options open. Just like you.

You are lucky to know what you are already interested in. There are millions of people your age who don't know what they want and will just say some occupation that makes a lot of money as their "future". Your future
Casely #4
Hi there. I'm just a random person scrolling through blog posts.

Anyway, I'm letting you know right now that it's okay not to be entirely sure of what you want to do with your life. Despite what everyone says, you don't have to be absolutely sure of what you want to do once your graduate. When I was in high school, I have absolutely no idea of what kind of career I wanted, or even have a college major in mind. When I graduated, I still didn't have a clue. That's okay. To this day, I'm still not sure of what career path I want to take. Right now, I'm just working so I can save up to go back to school (given that my plans don't change in the future).

What I'm trying to say is, it's okay not to have a concrete plan. If you have just basic concept of what you wanna do, then that's fine. Just go with it for now and see what it takes you. I know right now you feel like you're running out of time, but you're not. Some opportunities might not always be there, but school in general will. So, it's okay to take some time to yourself if you need. Personally, I think you should focus on your overall well-being for a bit. I don't know what kind of disease you have, but I'm pretty sure that stressing yourself out would only make things worse. Think about it this way, if you don't put yourself first, then who will?

My advice is probably useless, but I hope I at least put your mind at ease a bit.
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