〈 空灵 ETHEREAL REVIEWS 〉

Story: Pouring Affection

Author: GGJjang9

Reviewer: SWAGKYU / KYUTEINSPIRIT

TITLE: 4/5

♔ The title of your story seems to fit your general idea of your story but I would be careful of how the title also has to fit your language in your story. For example, the story seems to have language that somewhat doesn't fir with such a passive title like 'Pouring Affection'. ♔

DESCRIPTION / FOREWORD: 2/10

♔ I can sense the mood of your story from reading the one line that you provided for the reader in the foreword. Although I think you wanted to keep your foreword short, simple, and make the reader want to read more, I think that keeping it short only works if it's really eye-catching and breathtaking. In your case, I think it's better to extend it by giving more information to the reader and helping them know more about the mood of the story instead of direct telling them that Alice likes Yoonjo as the very first thing. This should be build upon the chapters that follow instead. I think that your foreword was a bit too short and direct. Also, try to make your sentences less awkward! Don't make it seem like as an author, you are directly talking to them, try to keep it real. ♔

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT / SHOWCASING: 7/10

♔ I think that you did a great job as to showing the readers what type of people everyone is. I could tell that Alice tries very hard to keep her emotions hidden from everyone else because she doesn't want anyone else to get hurt and was very caring to everyone else. Ara seems like a very sweet and caring leader and Lime, is very understanding. Nara and Yooyoung seem to be followers that seem to want to do their best and I can tell that although this story is suppose to have some sad element in it, you make sure to include some sense of brightness. I would however advise you to make sure you also describe and characterize Yoonjo soon instead of leaving her in the dark because she is in fact the partner to the antagonist. Good job!! ♔

APPEARANCE: 4/5

♔ A bit hard to read on the computer because the font was too small for me :( Try enlarging the font a bit and I think that if you had a poster that suits the theme of your story, it would be even better! ♔

ORIGINALITY / PLOT: 5/20

♔ The word limit seems creative but I think I've seen many other stories with this plot. However, if you were to make sure that the mood is really detailed and established and make your story stand out from others, than your story will in fact shine compared to the other stories that have a similar concept of yours. Make sure that you try to keep things fresh. ♔

FLOW: 5/10

♔ The story seems to be advancing a bit too fast and I think that Alice was characterized as a shy and someone who would keep their feelings inside but I was super confused when the flow was disrubed because Alice suddenly confessed to the other members about her crush. Try to keep things from happening so fast and build up to the . Also, make sure your characterization of the character in the beginning either graudually changes of stays continous through the story. ♔

GRAMMAR / SPELLING: 10/15

♔ I spotted a few grammar issues here and there that made your sentences seem very weird and awkward :P Make sure you keep consistent between past and present tense as well!

♔ YOUR SENTENCE: Sometimes, Alice thought that Ara was pouring affection on Yoonjo like every single day. Well, that stung her heart and she couldn't bear the pain.

CORRECT SENTENCE: Sometimes, it seemed to Alice that Ara poured affection to Yoonjo every day. It stung her heart and she couldn't bear the pain.

Make sure that you don't include so many 'well' and 'like' since it also throws off the flow of the story. ♔

Personal Note: Kepp on writing^^ Make sure to credit our shop and thanks for requesting from our shop!