I think.... I'm suffering my very first heartbreak.

So there's this boy... let's call him... erm... JK.

I've been head over heels for him for two years now, and knowing how shy I am when it comes to my inner feelings, I avoided him. I was trying to get over my little crush on him, but it just got bigger. And bigger. AND BIGGER.

Well, here I am. Sitting in front of my computer and feeling... Nothing, really. I feel empty and just completely useless. It's just the beginning stages of my super sad depression, believe me.

So JK is the most wittiest, awkwardest, funniest, smartest, cutest boys I've ever gotten to know. His emotions are the hardest to read, and he doesn't like to lead people on. I'm always left confused and hoping... My situation doesn't get any better.

This year, I've gotten to know him a WHOLE LOT BETTER. We're not buddy-buddy, but we're good friends. And just when I thought he MIGHT'VE returned SOMETHING. An inkling, even --

Everything just had to backfire in my face.

It was during Art class, I think. These couple girls were bugging JK's friend, and he was like, "Hey JK, they want to know about Dirt." JK simply gave them a blank look and turned his head to repay his attention back to his work, while the girls were giggling, "HAHA JK's codename for his crush is DIRT?!"

Then as I was cleaning up my materials, JK said to his friend, "You know you didn't have to say it SO LOUD." and his friend was like, "What? They already know, anyways. DIRT. DIRT. DIRT." That earned him a good whack on his head, and I was feeling sort of.... Numb.

Oh, and then I went to my lockers and this kid named Albert was like, "You know how JK likes?" and I just shook my head. He was like, "It's toptoptop secret." (I was thinking: Oh, he's gay. Why is that a secret? O:)

So anyways.

I'm pretty emotionless and kind of pouring myself over everything BUT homework. I'm going to fail my classes, I'm sure of it.

Well, good luck to me....

Thanks for reading. You guys rock :)