So, I'm here to tell you a little Christmas story that happened to me around this time of the year 2 years ago...

2 years ago... I was 16, and there was this guy...

Um, let's called him N - no not Vixx's N... Just N.

So, I like N on and off for around 3 years? Yeah, 3 years. And, don't think I'm deluded when I say he liked me on and off too...

But.. for 3 years we were just friends.

It wasn't until a new school year that one day, he FINALLY asked for my number

I mean... whut? 'I'll text you later, I promise,' he said.

Well, I wasn't really counting on him to text me but guess what... he did...

And so, the many nights of texting began... sometimes I call him and we'd chat in the middle of the night when our parents are sleeping and no! we didn't get up to anything dodgy!

But, despite our confidences behind our phone screens, we didn't have much courage to really talk in school.

There was nothing more than casual conversations only when we were around friends, and shy smiles.

Okay, boring... moving on.

I was at a sleepover at my Unnie's house along with another friend watching Super Junior's EHB (you gotta see it if you haven't, it's hilarious) and anyway... we decided to call N.

One thing led to another and I ended up inviting him to this big Christmas party we normally have every year.

So that being said and done, I didn't realize that N had this big argument with my bestfriend... er, M (Not James Bond's M either).

So, poor M told me she couldn't go to the Christmas party whilst N was there. I was sad :( so I decided to invite another friend, we'll call him... G.

Fast forward and we were at this party filled with my friends and family. I don't know what my father thought about N and G being there, but then... he never met them.

So, about G... he's been one of my good friends since we were 12? 12 or 13...

I love him to death, okay? He's so nice, and a gentleman too! And bonus, he's hot - not that N also wasn't hot - a lot of people fancied him too. I don't blame them, they're sporty and funny, and all around popular amongst our friends.

A lot of my friends have liked G and my other bestfriend, L, even dated him for about a year or so...

They broke up but are still friends.

Back to the story - we were at this party and I was sitting next to N and for some reason it was quite awkward... It wasn't supposed to be, right?

No! It was because I have suffered endless teasing about me and N getting together and how it's not a secret that we like each other anymore...

But even thought I've liked N for years... this one party changed everything and I didn't even realize it at that time.

The night ended with a (bear) hug from N and G... and let me tell you guys, I have never been so confused in my life because I had these guys on either side of me who were hesistant to go... They left together and as they reached the door, turned around at the same time.

I waved them off.

The next morning, whilst cleaning my room (it's as if a bomb exploded in there), I received a text from N saying he had a great time.

Then I got another text from an unknown number. It was G saying he had a great time too.

So as I continued to clean, I saved myself from boredom as I texted happily with my friends.

And then G said something along the lines of [I went shopping and bought a new jacket and jeans today] Hint 1

Actually that was the only hint he gave me before dropping the bomb [I'm gay]

What the...

actual ?

Do you know why I was disappointed? Neither did I... It wasn't as if I had a thing against gays - (I actually really want a gay bestfriend)

And then here's the second bomb, N decided to text me saying [I like you]

Don't expect me to be ecstatic because I was devastated

Whe-hey...

Plot twist - I realized I was disappointed because I had stopped liking N a long time ago... and in turn, I had started to like G

But G stood for gay, and gay he was! And I never suspected a thing because... well, because, nothing warned me that he was... G's older brother was a rugby player and also our Head Boy in school, and his parents were police officers, plus he was Catholic! Tell me you wouldn't think he was straight as hell!

Anyway, the following day we talked about it. I told him I liked him and he was saying how he was a bit disappointed as well...

He told me that N liked me and I told him that I didn't like N...

It was funny when he told me that he actually used to have a crush on N...

Well... great *sighing*

*sobbing*

*pain*

I didn't want to face N... I already broke hi heart...

We didn't talk about it, but over the school year we forgot about it - or just ignored it...

Over the next few months we didn't talk, we also stopped texting...

I lost my phone and his number with it (not on purpose)

But, little did I know it wasn't over... TT_TT