I envy people who have it easy

I envy people who were already skinny on the day they were born

Its so hard to avoid feeling envy

Its so hard to stay positive

Its so hard to ignore these stupid feelings.

Ugh. All these excuses.

Gosh.

I really hate myself.

hate is a strong word, so ill say dislike

Not that because i'm fat

Not because im self conscious

its because im mad at myself for not doing it right

Im mad at myself for not commiting to my goals

Id say I lose weight, but there wasnt any action

Im mad coz i act clueless, yet i know its important.

Im mad for not listening to advices, acting like i know it all

Im mad for giving advices, but not really doing it myself

I tried so hard to ignore, but it comes back haunting me.

It felt like its a very bleak future considering in the state im in.

They say i dont look fat, but inside, what do u think i feel when i measured?

Heck, my thighs are like the size of a balloon!

i definitely do not want to spend my days in the hospital

Ive seen patients who have it hard coz they didnt manage their weight.

im frustrated at myself.

Act now, they say. But what really is the motivation?

P/S: I also hate it when skinny people say they're fat when they're not. I'll be so freaking pissed. so if u r skinny and u said u can relate... Just dont.