I've been checking my AFF for the past few days but not my other social netwroking accounts. Throughout, I was wondering why stories of L and Kim Do Yeon are appearing again. Didn't Woollim make a statement about that already? But then, this welcomed me.

http://mwave.interest.me/enewsworld/en/article/51823/kimdoyeon-admits-she-was-dating-infinite-l

I honestly don't know what to feel.

You know that feeling when you just can't speak, and that the air in your lungs feels like it's poisoned or something? I felt that way. People may say I have no right to feel that way, but what's done is done. 

Things haven't been good lately and now, this just adds up to the pile of depressing thoughts: I'm just a fan and she, well, I don't know. What I'm sure of is that we're far away. So far away.

Either way, I'm satisfied I felt the pain. It's the only reminder I have that I can still feel despite this heartbreaking experience.

Myungsoo, whatever you do, please be happy. I won't be saying I'll be happy for you (because that would be a total lie), but I promise never to hate you.