〈 空灵 ETHEREAL REVIEWS 〉

Story: Do I...Love You?

Author: SS_7201

Reviewer: SWAGKYU / KYUTEINSPIRIT

TITLE: 4/5

♔ The title actually seems pretty good to me because I get the overall feeling that you are trying to portray to the readers. I feel the sense of confusion and also that something bizarre is going to happen for the protagonist to say the words "Do I...Love You?" Good job on portraying that feeling but I think many stories have that title of something similar to it. Try experimenting with different titles and see what you get! ♔

DESCRIPTION / FOREWORD: 6/10

♔ Your foreword was a bit confusing because once again of the grammar and readability issues but with some changes, it will become better! I feel like your description once again gives too much information. It's suppose to leave the reader in much suspense with the WHOLE foreword, not just the last sentence. The way these forewords usually run is that the author starts off with sentences that will build towards suspense and by the end, the readers are left with wanting to read the story. However, in your foreword, I don't get that much of the suspense feeling in genereal. Although it lacks suspense, I definitely think that with a few tweaks on the suspense building and grammar, your foreword will be great! ♔

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT / SHOWCASING: 10/15

♔ I definitely gave higher points for showcasing your characters because in your foreword, I can get the feeling and what the characters might be like in the story. Good job on only describing the important protagonists and antogonists. However, the only thing I advise you on is that your descriptions may give a little too much information on the characters itself. Instead, try describing these characters and the general idea of the plot in the first few chapters of your story. When your readers catch on by the , the character development through the first chapters of the uprising action will get the feeling of much suspense and also gain the feeling when your heart beats really quickly, you know what I mean? c;  ♔

APPEARANCE: 2/5

♔ Eh, you don't have a poster yet >< Not saying you need one but posters generally tend to catch readers eyes. You don't really need a poster but since you only have a foreword for now, I suggest getting a poster to help gain audience before your fanfiction is even started. I also saw you gave pictures of the characters. For fictional characters, make sure you choose an appropriate picture that will help the readers in sensory visuals and match the characters personality/description. The pictures kind of threw me off a bit from the feeling you gave in your foreword but that's okay as long as you gain back the feeling in the first chapter. At the bottom of your foreword, I think you advertised WAY too much. I mean I understand that you want more subscribers, commenters, readers to check out other stories etc. but you should keep that to a limit and if your story turns out well, you won't need advertising! Readers will find their way to you. One last thing, the color of your words at the bottom, try changing them to match the stories appearance. For example, if your story is cutesty, stick with colors like light blue, pink, purple, etc. ♔

ORIGINALITY / PLOT: 5/20

♔ You only have your foreword available so I can't really grade you on your ability to strengthen your plot. However, I can criticize your originality. I think there are A LOT more stories just like yours out there. When coming up with a plot, you should always thinks what will make my story stand out from the rest? From my prediction, Jongin likes Minhyo but when Baekhyun comes, Minhyo starts to like Baekhyun and then slowly, Minhyo possibly starts to like Jongin or Baekhyun likes Minhyo? You see, a good story shouldn't leave readers minimal choices as to what the story will turn out like. Successful stories will leave readers wondering so many different things in different aspects. When it comes to writing your fanfiction, make sure to add things that will make your story stand out from other stories with similar plots. ♔

FLOW: 7/10

♔ I have yet to see the chapters that will come along the story but I can come to see that your story may be a bit messy when it comes to making sure the readers have an understanding of each character's role and their feelings. Make sure you plan your story and each chapter carefully or else it might become a jumbled mess when it comes to trying to fit everything into your story at once. Your foreword has a pretty good flow so keep up the good work! ♔

GRAMMAR / SPELLING: 10/15

♔ A few mistakes here and there that I spotted once again. For all sentences, make sure there is a space after the comma! Very important!! Your sentences don't seem blunt so they are okay but some are once again worded awkwardly. Here are a few examples:

♔ YOUR SENTENCE: Song Minhyo hasn't been in good terms with Kim Jongin,her seatmate ever since they met. 

CORRECT SENTENCE: Song Minhyo hasn't been in good terms with her seatmate, Kim Jongin, ever since they met.

♔ YOUR SENTENCE: When a new teacher had to replace her class' Music teacher. She was struck with arrows of love and hearts, all kind of them.

CORRECT SENTENCE: When a new teacher had to replace her class's music teacher, she had gotten struck with the arrow of love. 

I would also suggest to change some of the sentences that sound awkward because they throw off the flow of your foreword. ♔

Personal Note: Don't keep readers holding for long! Grab their attention and then the sooner your update, the more they'll be wanting to read your story! Thanks for choosing Ethereal Reviews and don't forget to credit! c;