......is all I can do right now.
First of all the fact that my job is giving me hard time makes my life hard
to even think about myself right now and put myself on automatic to make my money
to pay the bills, unfortunately that comes with the territory of being an adult :/

Just because of that, all the plans for the next months go to waste, because I
have to change jobs as soon as possible. I am on the edge of having a burn-out
just because these people don't listen...what that means is, I have to cancel my trip to Japan
next month *SOBS* since my first priority is to find another job (I swear another month
of this job is gonna kill me :/)

...as if that isn't enough I am having a hard time dealing with my love life.
I made plans to visit my boyfriend in Seoul, but he announced he will be going back to Spain
by the end of November, so yet again no time for each other and it's slowly killing me.
I swear, long distance relationships ...it's hard and I am not sure if I can continue
to deal with this since I have to focus on my future and my studies...

I have a major move ahead in March and will be living in the USA for a year..
Even that has been pushed back because the visa takes longer than expected...
the feeling of your hands being tied , but it gives me a little bit of space to breathe
and move out of this apartment and arrange all the paper work and stuffs in time.

As all the above is just a tip of the iceberg, I got confronted with my life, myself and my family again.
A lot of things are very clear and explains why my family is giving me a hard time.
I became the black sheep of the family from the second I decided to do things my way and ever
since I am pretty much on my own paying for it every single day
The reason they give me a hard time or treat me like , is because they are
angry they never got to do what they want. They see me do it and they don't like it.
Considering the messed up family I come from, and considering how my parents and both
my siblings messed up their lives throwing everything away...I'm the only one knowing
what I want and I am going for it. They witness me do it and all they do is hate me for it.
Why? Because they're angry at them selves and jealous they never thought of doing it
and couldnt do it...this weight is hanging on my shoulders and I'm feeling pretty much alone right now.

I guess it's just starting to be a little bit too much and I have lots
to think about, but most importantly...I have to get back to me...
find my inner strength and go on like I did the day I chose for myself...

I'm going back to my comfort zone -->
MUSIC

My music, my jams, my therapy <3



Music is the best therapy and it's the only thing that keeps me sane!