I hate it when she acts as if everything's okay. As if nothing happened. As if she haven't hurt anyone. She smiles, she laughs and cheers outside. While I, as brittle as always am crying in a closed place, wondering if she felt something besides happiness. For example, guilt. Sometimes, I'm thinking about giving up on her. But since I'm older, I have no choice but to forgive her again. Only for the same routine to happen. We will be okay, then she would hurt me. Why did I thought family was what on our hurtest times, whenever we felt the world had turned its back on us? She is just like those people who step their feet on me. One of those who like to bring me down. I wonder...is it right to ran away and never look back? But then, a voice tells me from my mind... "Running away doesn't solve anything. Because when you run this time...how will you face the other loops in the future? Run again?" And then I know. It isn't right. What task I have left is find a way to deal with it.