I just want to cry!!

I really want to cry right now!

I was watching a show about bullying and suddenly my past just flashed in my head! All those memories were about me getting picked on, teased, pushed, alone.

And those where I tried to stand up for myself but girls and guys kept making fun of me!

Girls called me ugly, , , a , and so many other things. And guys said I was gross, that I would never be with them, I would never get a boyfriend, and there was this guy I liked and he snickered at me and guys would laugh for the way I looked.

My self esteem was getting lower and lower. Even though my family keeps saying I'm smart and beautiful but they are my family. And I was always alone.

I did try to fit in and make friends but every time I thought I made a friend, they would either scream and make fun of me or they would forget about me. I always felt betrayed.

Everyday I would go home crying and I would sit in my room. In school, I got pushed and harassed by girls and guys. There were times were I wanted to leave and die.

But I was smart enough not to go that far. As I got into high school, I was always alone. No one would invite to lunch. And every time I asked someone I could sit with them, they would ignore me and talk with the pretty people.

I was always by myself. I would be at a table by myself and no one would sit by me. My head was always down.

And girls and guys would make fun of me because I was in special education classes. They called me stupid, dum, retarded. I never had any friends. I never had a best friend!

I don't know why I would like Taemin! And I would never meet him and I'm not his wife! His wife is that Naeun chick! I would have get a great husband/boyfriend! Those guys were right! I will always be alone!

I'm crying while typing this! I really hope I have really good friends here who would be here for me!

 

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ann1914 #1
You know, as cliche as it may sound, I do believe that crying is a sign of being strong. You've been strong. Don't listen to those brats and don't make them think that they run your life. We'll be here for you, okay? Feel free to talk (or spazz) with anyone of us. You're never alone. No one deserves to be alone.
Kirakishou27 #2
Please don't cry....I'll want to cry too T^T
Don't worry, cuz we r here for u!!!! Don't even care or think about those people. They aren't worth thinking about anyway.
No girl is ever ugly. Every single girl has beauty, both on the inside and on the outside. Unfortunately....I'll have to say those people who were mean to you.....well theyr a million time uglier no matter what. And they will get what deserve for being so mean.
No matter what please ignore what others say. Be confident in yourself andgo on....move on and enjoy your life ^^ And remember you have friends who care about you right here ^^ So you are never alone kay??
banana-milk-unni #3
We love you Unnie~ <3 don't cry
.. I'll be your friend :D you re a wonderful person and those people who hurt you and called you those things are stupid!! Fighting~ :3
kaisootrash #4
I'll be here for you, and any guy would be lucky to have and to hold you don't worry.
KaiBaekLover #5
I'm here for you Unnie! I love you and I always will be!
SarcasticLover_ #6
I know you and I had a rough start but what those people did and said to you was rude, just ignore them and keep your head up high and pay :)
SHINeeJam501 #7
God will always love you. That matters the most.

When people will betray you and leave you trampled like a flower on the floor, God will always be there.

He sees what you're doing, and He wants the best for you.

He has given you friends here on AFF who actually care about you; I'm one of them.

I love you as a friend. I care about you. I'm typing this because I am willing to spare time to encourage you and make you happy just by this simple message, which I hope you'll find meaningful.

Ugly? NO! YOU ARE NOT!

Those people who called you all those hurtful, rude, rash comments have no self-dignity! They aren't like you! You're way different and you're a well, civilized human being here in this world who can actually think, and receive love from other people! I adore you for being unique. I look up to you for staying strong. I admire your guts for standing for your rights. I respect you for being an ACTUAL human for not fighting back, because honestly, that won't get you nowhere; fighting will just earn you bruises and wounds and more scars.

Self-respect is what you have, and that makes you special.

WE ALL LOVE YOU.

We're here for you.

And what your family says about you being beautiful and smart is true! We agree on that, so don't put yourself in a bad situation.

Embrace the reality, you know, but just think that if God brought you to it, and if God brought you to a particular situation, He will ALWAYS bring you through it; He will guide you and protect you. HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

REMEMBER: IF GOD BRINGS YOU TO AN OBSTACLE IN LIFE, IT'S A SITUATION TO HELP YOU GROW INTO A BETTER, STRONGER PERSON, NOT TO HARM YOU, BUT TO MAKE YOU STRONG TO FACE ANY PROBLEMS IN LIFE.

Remember that.

God is looking at you right now. He knows what you're feeling.

And He definitely knows what future you'll have because if you keep it up and stay strong, God will continue to write your future in his book.

Your future is planned.

It's all in the hands of God.

TAKE CARE! ♥
khrzontokki #8
Horrible people. Stay strong, even if others do that to you, you know that your fandom is always here. Just keep in mind people judge you because your special in a good way, and that special thing you have is what they are so jealous about. I also have a lot of people judging me. BUT STAY STRONG AND PROVED THEM THAT YOU WONT LET THEM STEP ON YOU.

I also once believed that i will never meet SHINee but I did. God will make a way for sure.

NO ONE IS BORN TO BE ALONE. We all have this special someone make it be your parents or friends that will keep you going on.
kalamarie #9
omg, thats horriable!! do you want me to kill the people who hurt you?? i would do that for you you know,kpoppers gotta stick together!! stay strong!! <3
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