I really feel burdened with my emotions these days and i just want to share it.

So it started on my childhood days when I was still hanging out with a bunch of boys and I stand as the only female in our party. One was my cousin, the two others were my father's friend's sons, and the other one was my brother who just seldomely hangs out with us. So back then, my cousin likes a certain girl and of course elders call it "Puppy Love". He was so crazy with that girl that he sometimes asks me to talk to her even when I don't feel like doing so (everyone says she's a back then but she doesn't seem so when we once talked). And back then, while he was busy about his puppy love, people are busy hinting about my future and the elder son of my father's friend who we'll label with "R". People around us would always talk of how R and I will end up good together in the future. But we just ignored them for our minds were innocent of that thing called love.

After some time, my father's friend died and we were growing up so I decided to stay away from the boys as the elders told me. I hung out with the girly girls where my cousin's puppy love (let's call her "E") was one of.

And now to the present....

I'm a teen, a fourTEEN year old girl who falls in love with her childhood friend because of the stupid friends who keeps teasing me with him. I hate how R and I ends up in an awkward situation when it's only the two of us alone in a room. I mean, we used to talk and laugh and he used to make me cry childishly and save me from other cruel boys making fun of me (coz he only wants himself to annoy me) back then but now... all that remains are cricket sounds and a crow passing by.

The Biggest Revealation:

E and R are dating.

I was walking with my bestfriend when we crossed path with the couple and I was so jealous. I was like, "Ouch it hurts!" with a scornful laugh and my bestfriend laughed with me saying, "You once got the chance but you let him go." I was like, REALLY???!!! WHEN DID I EVER HAD HIM??? I WAS YOUNG BACK BEFORE SO HOW WOULD I KNOW IT WOULD TURN OUT TO BE THIS WAY???   "Either way you're still betrayed with E. She knows you like R." my friend continued and it did struck me hard!!! I shouted out the word OUCH only for my bestfriend to hear. I never really admitted that I like R infront of my friends, what i do is just to simply compliment him in many ways. But tome, they didn't seem real.

The next day after learning they're a couple, all my girl friends gathered up in one place talking about girly things when E sat beside me. She kept clinging unto my arms busily manipulating her phone when she suddenly asked me to go with her somewhere in that instant. I asked to where we're going but instead of her answering my question, my other girl friends answered me with "Where else, of course she wants to go to R." I froze with that but E dragged me along I couldn't do anything.

I kept asking her why so sudden and she just answered me with, "He said he got lots of them." I didn't know what she was talking about until we reached the place. There he was... standing with something on his hands. I paused feets away from him while he, surprised, looked at me and her girlfriend approached him carefree. I watched them right before my eyes!!!!!!!!! Ouch, i swear i was going through hell at that time! I could barely hear what they were talking about but seeing them that close to each other is just pretty hurtful!! The next thing I knew is that E and I were on our way back and with her were a pack of wafer sticks. It's her favorite and he gave it to her.

In the end, I was surprised E got home safely without being injured by me. 

I should've known... she really is a !