Me: How old is Brittany Spears?
Dad: She's in her late twenties I think.
Me: I keep thinking she's like fifty or something.
Dad: [laugh] Why would she be fifty?
Me: DAD! With everything she's been through, she should at least be fifty!
Dad: Pssh. She doesn't look at day after forty!
Me: ................

Dad: It's been TWENTY MINUTES! They're STILL talking about Lindsay Lohan!
Me: It's a hot topic.
Dad: But TWENTY MINUTES?! What is there to talk about?! She went to jail and now she's out!
Me: And she's going to rehab again.
Dad: Didn't we hear this like...last year?

Me: Dad, Snookie went to jail.
Dad: For what?
Me: Pfft, I dunno.
Dad: Oh, who cares--she's ugly.