I had just gotten home from school, and the day is reeeally crappy. Earlier in the morning I needed to wait for my brother who just took a bath at 6:50 and he took a bath like putri solo, in which I was almost late. Fortunately I rushed my driver and he was very fast - we managed to reach school in only twenty mintues. Although I wasn't late, the feeling of being almost late annoys me to so much since I really hate being late, especially when it is caused by others. I don't know why but I'm always like this since I'm small despite the fact that the other members of my family are late at most of the things (if I don't rush them).

And then, we had this choir practice which is just so annoying as hell - the teacher is too annoying! He's so stupid, he keeps on playing the wrong note everytime, in the wrong time, and then blaming us for singing it wrongly. I mean, how is that not annoying? Plus, we all here are just normal people without super powers and he expects us to learn two long songs, with pecah suara and choreographies, in 5 days. Heck, not even 5 days. We only have 2 hours to practice everyday and he forces us to do it perfectly --" Like seriously, you can't even do it properly, how could we. You keep giving the wrong examples yet keep on blaming us on it --" It annoys me so much - makes me wanna kill him so badly. I mean you know that it's not easy to do those tasks so can't you at least minimize the difficulty level?! You can't even do it! Even I think I can do better than you. I swear, I sing better than him and can play the piano better too and can teach better too. He doesn't qualify in being a teacher. .

The final part is the most frustrating part ever. My friend is currently hospitalized because of her appendix (I think I forgot it's usus buntu in Indonesian) and our team decided to pay her a visit. However, my mom said, "You are not allowed to go. I know what's the best for you and it's best for you to stay home. At six, the road will start to have traffic and you will take a long time getting home bla bla bla plus you still have school tomorrow and bla bla bla bla bla bla bla you will be happier at home." LIKE HECK, HOW CAN I BE HAPPY WHEN MY FRIEND IS SUFFERING?! She's crazy, really! How can she be happy over someone's sickness?! She's so egocentric - she doesn't allow me to go only because her friend is coming at eight and she wants me to be like a 'maid' because my maids will be the ones cooking. Hello? I'm your child for goodness sake! I'm not your maid, not your toy either! Stop ruling me and deciding things on your own, without my own permission.

Yet, after I think of it again, I really am so unlucky. My best friends (excluding Celine) are all in university and I'm just the only one here. 90% of my friends are way older than me which means our schedules, knowledge, environment, family, attitude, and everything is different. Why can't I be friends with people of my age? I barely can get along with people of my age -_- It's like they don't understand me at all! I've tried being the friend they wanted me to be, but still, they doesn't fit being my friend. So in the end, most of my friends are already adults and here I am, still a little kid in my mom's eyes.

I'm in my second year of secondary for goodness sake! I'm no longer a little kid and I can start managing my own time so STOP RULING OVER ME. How dare she treat me like a little kid, and then expect me to act like an adult?! That's so unappropriate! She shoudl've treated me like my age - allowing me to visit my sick friend and put a little more trust in me. It's like I'm forever seven years old in her eyes. I'm never old enough to do things I want, maybe even after I finish university I'm still a little kid to her. 

I'm so sorry for writing a useless blogpost here, but I just need to let all of this out and I think this is the only place I can let it out. Again, I'm really sorry for wasting your time. Thank you to whoever who reads this here. God bless you all, Amen!