Hello.

Mmm,When was the last time I talked to you?I think it was about three months ago.Such a long time,I know,sorry.So are you doing well now?Did you meet your hubby already?Although you always said that you hate him but I never believed you!Why?Well I still can recall your expression every time the others would talk about him,It was like you were in a different world and soon you would snap out of it,hehe it was kinda obvious.I hope you get along together now better than before.

Are you mad about the other night when I used your precious radio?I don't know why but I keep having this feeling of you being mad at me.Please let me touch and use it sometimes,because it's the only thing remained for me to recall the past memories.You saw that every thing was changed and there are a few things remained untouched but the radio is the precious one for me like it was for you.

It's past midnight and now I can freely say  I miss you.I waited for them to fall asleep and then say it because I know the moment I say 'I misseyou' my tears won't stop from falling and I don't want them to see me crying.

It's going to be the first anniversary soon and I still can forgive myself for the not heeding to your last request and for visiting you less than the others.Although no one blamed me so far but at least I should blame myself since I really deserve it.You know Cemeteries are not pleasant places to go and the suffocating feeling of there bothers me alot.I hope you don't mind if I stay home and pray from here every week.

Things are not going well for me these days.You know about it,right?It's HIM again.It's always him no matter how much I want or try but nothing will change between me and him.Remember the times when I came into your room crying because of him and his cruel behavior.You were the only one who was on my side and could yell and scold him because of his acts towards me.Now,well maybe they are on my side sometimes but they can't yell at him like you did nor their room can be a safe and peaceful place for me to refuge.

It's been two months since I really talked to him,Every time he ridicules me for my dream I find myself hating him more and more to the level that I refuse to look at him in the face these days.It's actually my fault for telling them about it and letting them humiliate me for wishing for something that far.How stupid I was for thinking they can and will help me for it!!!

You know I'm trying my best for it but my effort is not enough at all.I can handle the licence and invitation part but for money and permission I need their or mostly his support which I think I can't get in a million years.Now here I am sitting in front of monitor with puffy eyes hoping you can ask God to help me for my problem.I begged God for it many times before but to no avail so I desperately ask you to beg on my behalf.Ask your kind hubby to help you and do it together.I count on both of you.I know it seems so impossible that,that stubborn guy can change his mind but your little kitty here still believes in miracles.

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I would like to say I miss you once again.I miss pinching your chubby cheeks,kissing your white and slimmy hands,watching you braiding your red and white hair,looking into your grey eyes and finally your hearing your high pitch voice calling my name in that unique way,It's so unbelievable that nobody can imitate your voice calling me that way and I hope they will never be able to do that.Please do come to my dream and call me once agian for I really really missed it.If you do come then I'll make sure to be beside you on your anniversary before everybody else.Just kidding with or without the dream I will come I promise.

I LOVE YOU & MISS YOU SO MUCH GRANNY <333/T.T

I'm so down and just need to pure my heart and write something for the one I truely missed :""(