Since I don't know what to call this, I'll just title it what it's mostly about. However, it's not about me, but a close friend on mine. I really need your help because I have no idea what I'm doing at the moment. Being optimistic, I've never had to deal with what my friend is going throug and I feel crappy for the way that I've handled the situation.

I wouldn't call him my best friend, but he is my second closest friend, and lately he has been feel depressed. All day and night we talk on Facebook, messaging each other about the simplest things on out minds and I don't mind. I actually enjoy our conversations, but lately they've taken a turn for the worse. Maybe he trusts me more, or maybe things just suddenle got worse. I'm not too sure, but whatever it is, I don't like it.

A few times over the past week he has messaged me saying that he 'wants to die' and that 'no one cares about him'. The pain the shoots through my body is nearly unbearable. I don't understand how he can possibly think that NO ONE cares about him. Does he not see me? The person that he talks to every day. Have I become such a constant presense that he thinks of me as something that is supposed to be there?

Neverthless, last night specifically, he told me that he just wanted to cut himself; that the pain would help him cope with all the stress and crap that he's going through. I let my emotions take over me, yelling at him that he shouldn't do it and that if he did I would refrain from speaking to him. I think we both knew that it was a lie, but he still told me that he wouldn't. 

Content, I went to sleep at eleven and awoke to a message that spread anguish through my body. A message was on my Facebook from him, sent at around three.

"Oops...its really badbadbad"

Right away, I knew what he had done. I messaged him and he told me that he had to do it. He wasn't able to sleep and that it was the only way for him to sleep. In an hour I saw him and didn't believe him. There was no way that the sarcastic, cheerful, and loving friend that I knew had cut himself. He showed me and I didn't see anything and blew it off, but twenty minutes later we were talking and I said he had lied to me last night.

He stared at me for a few moments before he pulled up his jacket sleeve and showed me his arm. Three cuts lined his arm.

I nearlt cried and avoided looking at him, placing my head on the ground the entire time. I couldn't face him. He knew that I didn't want him to and yet he still showed me. Closing my eyes, I could hear him still talking to me. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Please, don't stop talking to me."

I couldn't say no and kept talking to him, yet those cuts haven't left my mind once today, causing me to make the worst move of our friendship.I knew that I would do ANYTHING to make him stop. 

And I did...

Towards the end of the school day, I still could not manage to get the images out of my mind. Over and over, they kept popping into my head at the least important moments and I became to get frightened. What if one of these days he decides to actually kill himself? I could hardly take him cutting himself. 

So, I went to someone that I thought I could trust; a mother-like figure in my life, but I feeel betrayed. When she heard what I had to say, she made me go to the counselor and pretty much 'snitch' on him. Hvaing no excuse, I had to go and I just know that he knows that it was me that told. 

He probably hates me right now, feels betrayed. 

...

And I can't blame him. I don't know why I did what I did. I don't why I thought at the time that I was doing the right thing, because if I was, I doubt that I would be feeling this bad. I doubt that I would be feeling this horrible.

My best friend and conselor told me that I did the right thing and that no can help him if he won't help himself, but I feel like crap. 

As of right now, he hasn't messaged me and that only post that I saw on Facebook was this:

"I love getting called into the counsellor's office cause people can't mind their own business." 

Can anyone help? Did I do the right thing? Have you ever been in this position, or in a position similar to it? If so, please message or comment me that I did the right thing, or give me advice to tell him, if he ever talks to me tomorrow. 

Thanks for listening to my small spewl. I really need to get this off my chest.