This is from my page Ur getting soshied -_- But I'll just copy paste here.

Original link: https://www.facebook.com/Urgettingsoshied/posts/649694815048148

I never had a true best friend when I was a kid. When I was 4, I moved to America and was rather rusty at English. This concluded in me not having many friends. Even though I wasn't a shy girl at all, I couldn't do anything with my limited vocabulary. I remember a classmate talking to me, but all I responded was: "Awesome."

I had my real friend in the 3rd grade. I'll call him "Jay." We had class together, and we sat next to each other.

We both liked to talk a lot, we both were pretty crazy in our own ways, and we had a lot of things in common. I grew up in a house with three brothers, so I grew up to be a little tomboyish in a way, and Jay kind of liked the common appreciation I shared with him about video games and such.

He was also the cause of my first detention in class because we just wouldn't stop talking to each other.

My mother worked early, because of this I had to go to school earlier than many other students. Jay too. Jay would take an early bus to school, and I would wait for him to come. And we would talk to each other until a teacher sees us and asks for help stapling things and whatnot. He was also a pretty smart guy, so I made him do my homework most of the time. I always said, "I'll pay you." every time he did my homework, But I never did.

We had class together for three consecutive years, the same teacher twice. Although I honestly disliked that teacher to the core, Jay made going to school a whole lot better.

-6TH GRADE-

In 6th grade, Jay and I were the best of best friends. But we didn't get class together. Although we would always meet up at Recess, the rest of the class day was rather boring without a partner-in-crime.

So I made new friends in my new class. One girl in particularly, I'll call her "Ally". Ally was your nice popular girl. Smart, sweet, beautiful. Every girl a parent would want to have. All the teachers really liked her, even the meanest P.E teacher favored her.

Jay, Ally, and I all worked at the school's cafeteria. We all had our own group and it was pretty nice. We were always seen together and perhaps inseparable in a way.

Working at the school's cafeteria, we knew almost everyone, and almost everyone knew us. I guess you could call us, 'popular'. We had special treatment too. Which was nice.

Over the time, my feelings for Jay grew stronger. HELL MY FAMILY SHIPPED US. But I didn't know what a crush was back then, I was just a kid.

I appreciated Jay's company, and he appreciated mine. I didn't know back then that that was called, 'Love'.

In the end, Jay confessed his small feelings for Ally, and they both ended up dating.

It was quite sudden in our group, we were all a big group of dorky crazy kids, and suddenly there were two lovebirds in the group. My other friends cheered them on, but I felt sad in a way.

But I didn't say anything, I didn't know anything.

We remained best friends.

Fog was a daily weather for our city. One time I had forgotten my jacket in the classroom. Jay saw me shivering and with no hesitation, gave me his jacket. He was only wearing a T-Shirt. I felt bad but he didn't like seeing me shiver.

I didn't realize how precious those small acts of kindness would be as memories.

Unfortunately, we went our separate ways at Middle School. He went to one across the city and so did I. I remember meeting him once and hugging him when we had a little reunion at our old school. He and Ally both went to Middle school together, but I don't know what happened to their relationship.

Over the time of middle school, I met new friends, new best friends, new everything as it was a new experience for me. It was great having such wonderful friends I have now, but I never found a guy as great as Jay.

When I finally entered High School, I didn't realize Jay was in one of my classes.

The teacher was taking attendance, calling out each individual name:

"Adam?"

"Here."

"Caitlyn?"

"Here."

I played around with my fingers trying to pass time when I heard a familiar name.

"Jay?"

My head shot up and scanned around the room.

"Jay?" the teacher repeated.

No one said "Here."

The teacher said the full name, and no doubt it was my best friend Jay.

Although he wasn't in the class, I was pretty happy to know I had one with him.

Around the time however, I started developing feelings for "Taengoo". [Link here if you don't know who Taengoo is : https://www.facebook.com/notes/ur-getting-soshied-_-/jd-her-crush/588295684521395]

Because of Taengoo, I completely forgot all the feelings I had for Jay. Jay also found a new girl best friend, so in High School, we never really talked to each other.

I didn't think about it that much, I was thinking : "Oh, maybe next year we could have a class together and we could become friends again."

But something happened before the school year's end.

March 9, 2013.

I was just about to sleep when my phone rang. It was one of my old friends I hung out with Jay.

I picked it up wondering why an old friend who I haven't contacted in years would suddenly call me in the middle of the night.

"Hello?" I spoke into the phone.

"JD?" My friend said.

"Hey, why you calling? You okay?"

"JD, do you remember Jay?"

I was confused on the sudden talk of Jay.

"Yeah, I do..?" I got off my bed and walked outside to the backyard where it was quieter.

I heard my friend sniffing. It was weird, my friend was the type to do drugs, beat a gang up, yet here I heard him..crying.

"JD, he just died in a car accident."

I stopped walking and froze in my steps, trying to absorb what he just said.

"H-he.." My friend was desperately trying to keep his tears in. "He was leaving the celebration party to go home with his fam-family. H-his mom was driving..they went to take a U-Turn..an-and..and.." He was crying hard now.

"And a drunk guy..hit his car..smashed it into pieces."

At that moment, I felt warm tears dripping from my eyes. Unstoppable tears.

"H-his mom, his brother, he..t-they all died."

At that moment I felt like someone kicked me in the knees. I trembled, I was getting weak, I was hoping that this was a prank, but my friend wouldn't joke about death.

I couldn't bear the idea of not being able to see Jay anymore.

Especially when I never told him I loved him.

My friend told me all the details about his crash. It happened right in front of school, as a matter a fact, even today there is a small little memorial site for him there.

The next week, in every class I had with him we did a moment of silence. Even in the morning.

Lots of students went to visit his memorial site, which still had blood all over the concrete driveway. It hurt for me to go to school, since I had to take that exact road to get there.

Lots of students wrote him notes, saying how they really missed him and how they were great friends.

But I could tell they were lying.

No one knew Jay as good as we knew each other.

No one had as good childhood memories as I had with Jay.

They were all lying.

And I hated it.

But I hated the fact the most that I

never told him

that I

Loved him.