Having a boyfriend is such a great feeling. But the greatest feeling in the world is that I have a boyfriend that loves me back and treats me well. We may have broken up a few times but I can't blame anyone but myself. I promised you that I would stop being needy and clingy. I promised that I wouldn't stop you from doing the things you love, like playing your video games and hanging out with your friends. I intend to keep those promises, no matter how much I hate it. I'm willing to do all of this because I love you, very much. It was the worst feeling in the world when we broke up and you told me that it would be best this way and there was no more us. So I decided to accept that and turn away. Later that day, when I got the train and taxi home, I gave you one last text to get rid of my feelings, "Thank you for the amazing 4 months, and thank you for the memories. I love you and I'll miss you very much". After that, I watched tv and went outside to look at the fireworks, coming back in and dragging myself to bed. I was exhausted from puking, crying and lack of sleep. I couldn't sleep very well since the fireworks were outside but I tried. Then at 22:30, you woke me up with your phone call. I was hesitating whether I should pick up or not but I did because I wanted to hear your voice. The first thing you said to me was "Oh, were you asleep? Did I wake you up?". It gave me the impression that you still cared. When you told me you made a mistake, I grew hopeful. You asked me to take you back and give you another chance. I didn't say anything for awhile and you continued to say that you understand if I didn't take you back since you've messed me about. Regardless of that, I didn't care. I just wanted to be yours again. I took you back and we chatted for a bit on the phone and then we said goodnight and "I love you, thank you for taking me back". I slept well that night and I continue to sleep well to this day. Even though we don't spend as much time together anymore, I don't mind. It's not that I don't mind, I do mind but I also want to take things slow and I know you do too because you think we're getting really serious and you're not ready for that commitment. I fully understand but you must also understand that everything we've been through and have done together, you can't expect it to not get serious. Things were somewhat easier when we were friends with benefits but even that didn't work out since I developed feelings for you, or rather, my feelings got stronger after that camping party. I don't think you have any idea how much you mean to me and how much I love you. I love you and please don't leave me anymore.