okay so let me start with the thought that came into my mind, 'i'd better make a blog post about how i cried so much about not being able to attend any kpop concerts anywhere especially in my forking country because of money'

 

Super Show 3 

i was new to the kpop world but to be honest i can really say that i'm a big fan of them already. i created my first twitter account then started spazzing. when i knew they're coming to philippines, i was like 'omg omg omg!!!! yesssss finally i can see them in personal alreadddyy!!! dhfsjkfhdswdkfh' so i hurried and approach my parents and told them about this. as soon as i finished explaining to them how much i wanted to go to manila but guess how they react? a laugh escaped their lips and i was like *waaaaeeeeeee* then my dad said, 'do you know how much you're going spend? plane ticket to manila plus that very expensive concert ticket..' by the time i realized what my dad just said, i feel like my heart's going down, melting and i feel drips of water running down my cheeks. so, i told myself, there's always next time. sigh :/

 

more and more idols came and i get used to telling myself i know i can't go and to keep sobbing even in front of my teachers and classmates. it hurts so freakin much that i only have to deal with fancams and pretend i was there. pft. just this year, 2013, another bunch of idols came and created big scars in my heart.

 

Dream Kpop Fantasy Concert in Manila, Sungha Jung Mini-Live in Cebu,

Even if i already knew that i still can't go, i kept telling myself, 'this is my time. no more next times!' as soon as my best friend said that she and her sister are going to attend dkfc, i paused for a moment. i felt my heart slowly breaking. this is it. my best friend's going to see them with her freakin eyes. same with sungha jung's concert in cebu!!! i cried and sobbed so hard and questioned 'why do i have to be this unlucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' it really hurts so freakin much. i feel like i've been stabbed a billion of times like ughhhh 

 

Kpop Republic 2013

this was the latest, right? exo k, shinee, and dal shabet came tovisit their filipino fans. although it didn't hurt so much like dkfc and sungha's concert, it still hurts you know. i actually do not watch fancams because it hurts, but thank God, i had the courage to watch fancams from kpop republic. listening to the voices and screams of the fans hurts me inside. it made me sob so freakin hard with the thought that 'i should be screaming with them!!!' 

 

talking about those fansite noonas from korea who really came to our country to watch exo perform like i- they're just- HOW RICH! HOW LUCKY! FOK! >_< 

i wonder how it feels to attend a concert. i wonder how it feels to see those idols whom you stalk on your screens but this time you're watching them with your eyes. i wonder how it feels to let your idols hear your screams and personally tell them you love them so freakin much!!!!

 

i'm sobbing hard rn tbh. i just can't-

 

to summarize everything up, i can't blame anyone for me being the unluckiest fangirl ever. but i just have one wish: 

 

if still, i won't be able to attend any k-concerts in my country, i hope these idols would also leave messages to the fans like me, who can't attend their concerts. i hope they'll also think of us. i know there are a lot of fangirls who are really similar to me.

 

i just hope that they would also know how much i love them because next to God and my family, they are the ones i treasure the most.

 

i am the girl who cried for concert tickets.

 

bow./