Any poets? .____.
So I wrote a "poem" I don't even know what it is omfg in Creative Writing and would like some opinions, please~ I need to use this to write a story OTL
iii.
He gets it removed in the breathy space wedged between autumn and winter by a woman who he’ll never remember
The boy with the breath of pines who yearns for the girl with the heart of broken lilacs
The pain is much sharper than he imagined
Whimpers like tree-blood dripping from his wound,
Oozing, bleeding red from between his lips
He looks out to be reborn with only fear for the immortal lumberjack
He falls, crashing
Then he sheds it all,
Except for the ghost of words once-carved on bark that still haunts the flesh it lives on
(remember it)
i.
He gets it engraved on his skin in the breathy space between winter and spring by a man whose face leaves no impression
The boy with the breath of pines who loves the girl with the voice of broken lilacs
Tattooed together, drunk on youth
Laughter and love words dripping from their connected lips
But he doesn’t taste the sawed edges of her tattered soul
They promise for eternity
(sign it)
ii.
He does it in the breathless space between dreams and reality by himself with lungs of platinum
The boy with breath of pines for the girl with the soul of broken lilacs
(end it)
Whatcha think? PLEASE LAY IT ON ME I NEED CRITISIM
/claws eyes out
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