I want to cry

I'm so upset. I hate my life!!! Everytime I think that things in my life are going good... they get ed up!!

My life is so ed up!!! I hate my life and I hate myself for being stuck in it.... I know a lot of you don't care, but I had to tell somebody and this was my only option....

For the last 3 years my life's been a living hell. My mother's a fake witch with an attitude problem who treats me and my friends like shizz because she had a ed up childhood. The most important person in my life left me forever without a goodbye. People tell me I'm psycho, I'm finding it harder and harder to deal with all the built up emotions... I can't control them anymore. I told myself a million times 3 days ago "I'm strong." but I'm not... not anymore. For the last few days, I've been afraid to sit in the bathtub because I decided I would try to drown myself after telling my mom I was going to was my hair. She ended up coming into the bathroom and ing up my plan and pulling me out of the tub... 

Today, she's been treating me like a pest and nothing that I do seems good enough. She yelled at me infornt of my neice and nephew at McDonald's and I've been upset at her since... Ever since my suicide attempt I haven't been able to control my emotions. I cry constantly, get angry with everything and I feel so unstable, like a time bomb waiting for something to set me off. I hate it.... I can't take it anymore. I'm done with everything. Family. Her. Life. It's all so pointless...

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-latae #1
im not really good at talking to people about this sort of stuff, but please please, don't do anything too rash!

maybe you could talk it out with your mom? in order to overcome this problem, you'll have to face it.

im having some religion-family issues as well so i kind of look to my friends as my family. if you're not that close to your friends, try to talk to at least one person you're close to, no matter who they are or how far away they live.

im willing to listen and im sure there are plenty people who are willing to listen here as well!

Hang in there! Just wait until you get to move out! That's what I'm doing.
Kekemato819 #2
Instead of expecting the negative, look for the positive... This will help you to realize that life isn't as bad as it seems. Suicide should be your last option, the best way to help with your frustration is to release it in some sort of physical was( I chose soccer) it helps to life the weight off your chest.

JUST PLEASE DON'T KILL YOURSELF..... PLEASE!!
zarawrshi #3
I second to everything that thehappyvirus said.
I, too, tried to commit suicide once, or twice (psh it doesn't matter --) and I did exactly what she/he said. I won't say my mom changed because she treat me just like before, but I think she's a bit softer on me. It hurts but I think I'm getting stronger and I can just shrug it off easily by now.
Yes, find someone to talk to. I don't know if these work for you but I do kick-boxing once in a while to vent my anger and I always blow a balloon till it popped (well, that's my weird way to release my stress. ._.)
Don't try to commit suicide anymore, because you won't know what good things that may happen to you in upcoming years. ^^
you know, there's someone in the world is willing to do anything just to see you smile (maybe you've met him/her, or maybe you haven't) ^^
*virtual hugs you*
exo_we_are_derps #4
Hey there my name is Alyssa. I understand how you feel. Trust me, even though you may think I don't. I really do. I have to tell you that, you can't give up. You can't let the dark side win. Cause I know that's there's that little spark of hope that's calling for help. I know you feel like the world is going against you and that everyone wants you to be gone. But they're not. I can guess your dark side is probably thinking "yes it is, your just all talk". Cause I don't want you to be gone, I feel like nobody deserves this. I've felt the same way you felt but then I see these rules.
1. Do not kill yourself. Killing yourself is very messy and your mother will cry over you. It is not beautiful or brave, and even if it was, you will not be around to see that.
2. Washing your hair is going to be a chore. But you should do it anyway. Because you will feel better about yourself.
3. Get up late. Have a lay in. Sleep past your alarm. You have a very long life ahead of you and for now you should appreciate the cold side of your pillow.
4. He is going to break your heart but he’s just another male human who finds it hard to deal with Mondays, too. So in a month you’ll wake up and you won’t even remember that little scar on his knuckle you kissed.
thehappyvirus #5
Don't do that because if you do, then they win. I went through the same thing you're going through (I tried to kill myself when I was 15) but you can turn things around for yourself. The thing is... your mom may never change and the sad thing is, no matter how hard you try to tell her how you feel, she may never understand. This being said, the ball is in your court now.

I'm not sure how old you are but just think, a few (or couple) more years of high school, then you can go to college. Find one a good distance from home! You need to be concerned with yourself ONLY. Once you graduate, the skies the limits! Stay strong, find yourself a beautiful dream, and hold on to it tight. Also, find a hobby or something to keep your mind occupied. When I was overcoming my issues, music and reading were my biggest help. I also wrote a lot. It helps too - to write out what you're feeling and you could even pretend you're writing a letter to someone who hurt you. It always helps to get things off your heart.

You'll have to be strong and realize that you're worth living for. It's hard, I won't lie - but YOU CAN DO IT! If you don't have anyone around you for support, know you have me here and I'm just a AFF message away or you can add me on tumblr (xiumanseok).
Baozihasabubblebutt #6
Visit SKAD. They helped me, and they can help you. And if you don't want to do that, then call the Suicide Hotline. I know it sound rediculous, but they will actually listen, and help you. I'm not great with people or real emotions, but I hope this helps in some way...
-notyourself #7
hey, i know this seems a little stupid right now... but you can't give up. i understand that's a bad part of your life but hey, cheer up, better days will come. i had my bad days too. i've been down a lot too but, you can't give up ara? you have to face it. even though i know its ing hard. i know it. you should try to take out those feelings by other than 'death' there's a quote someone once told me, 'suicide it's a permanent decision for a temporary problem' i know it seems stupid and time passes by slowly but better days will come so keep it up okay? :s
if you need to talk just pm me okay? ^^
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