I know I'm not the only one who says this, but comments are what keeps an author's motivation to keep on with the story. It's okay if you don't have many subscribers or many comments, but sometimes... it's just desencouraging.

I just want to make two points clear before I keep with my 'rambling':

-I am sick.

-I spent a lot of time this year in a hospital bed.

This year has been hell to me. I couldn't even study properly, because I missed classes and didn't understand the lessons, but I still had to do the homework. My parents weren't with me most of the time, because they were working. There were these times that, I was in a hospital, in Barcelona, by myself, with the closest and only family in the country 150 km away.

It wasn't something really important most of the time, though. Still, they would give me around 2-3 injections per stay or more, in case they were needed. 

Injections hurt. A lot.

I strived to do homework. The injections were so strong that all my body ached... sometimes, I would even run out of breath and had to use an oxygen mask. Still, I would study as hard as I could, making homework despiste the numbness in my hands and my headaches. And then, as a reward, nurses let me connect a while to internet with my laptop, even though they told me to be extremely careful. I even had a kind of small table above of the bed so that I could put the laptop there and don't hurt my legs.

Sometimes, I had low or high blood pressure and they made me wear oxygen masks, or even they had to stick up IVs in my arms because I was dehidrated due to the medicines. Still, I would write my chapters for my readers' contentment.

On July 24th, lovealice left this comment in one of my fanfics:

Okayh...mariana where are you? When are you gonna update?! You're stressing me out!

Yeah, I want seunghyun to end up wit but Bom but I feel sorry for Sohee with the baby and all...what is he gonna do about it? i'm hell curious here..update soon. Thanks my dearie 

I was in the hospital, and I felt bad for her. I felt bad because I barely had the strenght to write another chapter and there were people asking for an update.

Sometimes, I write long chapters after hours of treatments, and I publish them in AFF. Sometimes, stories with +150 subbies.

And what happens ?

Despite the pain and the effort, only two people comment.

I don't feel disappointed, but I feel sad. I'm sick, in the hospital, I try my hardest to please my readers and they reply with an 'update soon'... No guys, I'm not saying I don't like when people post that. It's just, I sometimes feel like writing the chapter was a waste of my time and effort.

For those who don't read my stories, I'm not asking you to read them. I didn't mean to offend you but please, consider my feelings on this as well.

Marianations.