Need Help

I have this story i had in mind but however i'm not sure to do it or not. Plz give me ur opinion or idea plz. I really really need help.

All i manage is only this :

Love in a coffee shop

-her-

-just like any other day , i would stop by cafe on my way to work-ordering my usual and sat by the window- this tall man in brown long cot-he would always order the cappuccino- would sit not far from me-would scribbling on his book - smile would cause waitress to squealing-

-man-

I had long notice her from afar-everyday, i would see her in her work clothes- sit not far from where i sat-she would stare at me- i pretend not to notice it-but whenever she turn away, i would still look at her-

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BabyLocket #1 Aug 22, 2013 11:30:18

aww i think it is cute! Already it has suspense which is good and your wondering who these people are and whats going to happen to them.
However! i think with this sort of story, it needs a definite plot line, at least to start with. You need to think about how they are going to come together. Will it be an accident. This man's pen ran out while he was scribbling and asks for one of her's? Or do they have some sort of business together where they wind up in the same room without knowing who the other was? There are many ways you could go. I would suggest making that coffee shop the complete ' 'Base room' of the story and always refer back to it, but by your story title i'm sure you already planned for that. I would also suggest keeping it pretty short, but sweet. The characters need to develop rather than all that love at first sight stuff which is often hard to swallow and believe so they need to grow into it and there will probably need to be some awkward discussion. But you don't want to drag it out too much and bring the attention away from the coffee shop as the story develops. (Just my opinion, don't shoot me) ^_^ But yeah, i think you should carry on with it. It could be really good. If you need anymore help PLEASE feel free to ask me, i'm free and always willing to help another author! <3 Ppyong! Xx