Have you ever realized that I'm human, not a machine? Have you ever realized that i have feelings too and that i could get hurt? I'm more vulnerable than you think. As if you don't know. As if you don't know how insecure i am. How emotional i am. How i can't take it when someone that i actually know and care a gets hurt OR hurt me. That's actually the worst. I'll break down. I've been suppressing my feelings for so long. Trying to understand and forgive even though i can't find a reason to. I always put on a smile and be all crazy in school, in public. But at home, i have to cry secretly, silently. I'm afraid my parents will find out and they'll get hurt. Can you please stop hurting me? Please try to understand. I can't even explain how i feel in words. I just... I can't even cry sometimes and that . It's like im suffocating. You know i overthonk and all. So why? Why can't you just understand and stop treating me like crap? Haven't i treated you nice enough? I've never said words that brought you down. Nor have i done anything that brought you done. Those actions and words so do and say to me, makes me feel even worse. How could someone so dear, a friend do that? And claim that I'm your bestfriend? I just cant. People have been telling me to ignore you and stop treating you so nicely. I tried. But i can't. You know why? Because i care and you're a friend. I genuinely treated you as one but have you treated me as one? I'm sorry. Like i said before, I've came to a point that i can't even express how i feel in words. Even actions. I could only blame myself. Blame myself for being like this. Blame myself for being me. Being nice, caring... everything. I'm sorry. If I've never met you... i don't know. I don't want to think anymore. I'm grateful for that period of time that we had together and when I'm so dumb not realize that you're hurting me. People say that as time go by, you'll feel numb. I'm sorry. But it has been almost a year and I'm still hurting like crap. At least i have friends that truly care for me. I'm grateful for that. I really am. Thank you fron the bottom of my heart. I don't know if you've changed to become worst or if it's your true self. But i need you to know that many of us don't really like you. So please try to change and stop being a . (I'm sorry.) Stop being materialistic. Be that dating to gain popularity or hanging out with 'popular people' and up to them. (Or whatever you guys could think of.) I'm sorry that i can't say all this in your face, it'll hurt you so... I hope you will be happy and so will i... someday.