I swear, I'm really sick of relationships. Some could think otherwise but really now... Why bother to post your little depressing "I love her so much and now I'm empty with out her." then saying. "Don't ask me what happened." Yet you post it on like on your social site! The bro! One of the most complication s ever in my life.

Sorry for this rant. It probably won't make sense. But continue if you wish to know why I'm really PMSing right now.

I broke up with you cause it's your fault okay! I honestly would say I would've broken up with you like nearly a month ago after we talked about this issue. Yes I really do love you. Yes I really do care about you. But how you treated the relationship was all on you! You said you loved me. Yet you couldn't show it. After a while I was going to adjust to it. But I never could. Why? Cause this isn't a relationship I want.

I would always hold our conversations. I would try anything to talk to you. Wether it was to have late night calls. Or hang out. I would always ask first. Yet you have never dont that for me. I felt like you didn't really trully love me cause you never took the first step into asking me if I wanted to call, or if I wanted to hang out today. That initative was always something that made me so bipolar in the relationship that I didn't want a relationship anymore. Weird right?

Oh and when people say relationships are the best feeling ever. No. No they are not. This is just my biased opinion on it. A relationship is just like a commitement of love to that person. You can find anyone like that. Depending on circumstances I suppose. I feel like I'm in a relationship with my Fwuffy<3(A friend).  But we arent. We have a relationship, when we're just friends. We say I love you. We flirt. We always want to see each other when we cant. (Cause he lives in a different state). To me thats relationship enough with out having to be one. 

I'd rather have it be like this than be really commited to someone. Then having to have those worries of jealousy and cheating. Is it really worth it? Especially while you're still in school. A relationship should be the last thing you need to think about. Focusing on what you have now is important. If you find that someone you really cant stop loving then by all means go for it. Just when you feel like you're having the benefit of the doubt you don't have to be. Because trust me, I'm sure he feels the same. Unless its the total "I'm popular you arent" kind of relationship. Then... FANFIC TIME!

Just kidding. But I give you some honest opinions with my so called "experiences" of a relationship. It really does feel like a fanfic, for like the first couple months. But after a while you don't get all the romance you had thought you were going to get. But like I said, it just depends on the person. To me, I've experienced some of what you normally read in fanfics I suppose. But not the whole amusement park or beach, or being by Han River(OTL). Still it's all personal preference I suppose? Or like.. what you want, or what they want, and what you want together is most important.

All in all. 

Relationships have the benefit of the doubt.

Why am I PMSing though?

If you read earlier above. I just broke up with my boyfriend. Yes. I broke up with him. He didn't break up with me. Why did I you may ask. It's because our relationship has been a more push than a push and pull relationship I suppose. I felt like the boyfriend, when I wanted to really feel like the girlfriend. I really did love him! I still really do. But I realized I wasn't actually happy being in a relationship. 

But what made me PMS the most. OTHER than his little guilt tripping Facebook post. Was my attitude towards it.

I honestly have a positive, and I mean positive as in POSITIVE personality. Which is probably why he liked me. 90% of my personality is all smiles and laughs and being a goofball freak otaku kpop fan I am now. But 10% of the time is supposed to be full of negative emotions. Like worries,concerns,anger. NOPE.

All those negative emotions aren't me. I don't really have/show those often. That's a .5% chance of showing. I actually have an "I don't give a damn." personality the 9.5% of that. Meaning. When someone is mad or complaining at me. I literally go into a straight face and not care. That also happens when I'm depressed or stuff. I shut everything down in me and literally not care. 

This not caring personality came when I was breaking up with him. And I felt bad afterwards thinking about it. Cause I didn't look hurt, or I didn't feel bad that I was breaking up with him.

But I'm moved on. Facebook has informed me that he'd need time to recover. Luckily he's a grade older than me.. so he won't see my face often.

Sorry for the long rant. This is just unnie/dongsaeng's rant on relationships.

I'm happy I'm single again. I honestly don't need a relationship in my schedule considering how many clubs and leadership junk I'm in now. Besides I have my fwuffy, twin, and husband(a friend who is a girl OTL) with all my other friends. They are my family, they are who I love. They love me. I feel loved. I don't need a boyfriend for that.

Annyeong.