Title: 3/5

My One and Only. 

It’s a good simple title. I’m not the greatest with titles but it works with the story and all. it’s good!

Grammar: 12/15

When writing dialogue, every time a different person talks, you start a new paragraph. This didn’t happen often while I was reading but it happened. I suggest a beta, or have someone read over. Also, after a quotation, don’t capitalize he or she, unless it’s a person’s name. For example,

“W-who are you?” she asked. 

Pretty simple. Just look out for those. Other than that, your grammar is very well. Yay!

Characterization: 20/25

I noted, Eunji is unrealistically mature for her age in the first chapter. I didn’t like it, maybe if she were, maybe 5 it’d be a tad more fitting. I like how the characters are portrayed though. Daehyun and the other BAP members seemed like who they are and isn’t just a face. Sometimes authors do this thing were they use an idol but totally change their personality, and you didn’t do that. Lovely. It’s absolutely lovely. Eunji reminds me of a shounen character. I like it. Actually, she reminds me of a character from the manga Love so Life. Not entirely but I just thought of it. Eunji is Eunji, and I really enjoy her character. 

Plot: 28/35

The plot is simple. Don’t go jumping the gun now thinking I don’t like the story, I like the idea of the story. The story was written well and all, but I feel like you could’ve further explained things. Like, what are Eunji’s feelings? Where does she stand in all this? Does she even like Daehyun? I just feel that you, as the author, should explain this. Eunji is a main character, as well as Daehyun and the readers should know as well what she feels even if it’s brief. I honestly don’t have much to say about the plot. It’s a good story and I’m excited with what’s going to happen next.

Appearance: 10/15

Your poster is absolutely beautiful. Kudos to the shop you chose. Not really sure what else I can say about the poster but besides that, the beige theme is really nice as well. I love it! Your description and foreword, in my opinion, should be switched. From what I’m getting, your foreword is actually your description, so it should be switched. The description didn’t exactly have a grasp on me. It wasn’t exactly interesting and keep in mind, readers will get the first glimpse of what it is in the description and it isn’t exactly eye grabbing. I’m not sure how you can improve this, because I’m not exactly great at descriptions as well. While I was reading the fic, I noted that the italic were flashbacks, but there wasn’t any indications that they were. I suggest to say, something like, Flashback or something witty and clever. I’m terrible, I’m not sure. The credits are simple and neat which is very nice. Same with the copyright. It isn’t huge and steering your eyes away from what readers want. Very nice.  

Enjoyment: 5/5

In all honesty, I never read a story with the orphan type sorta deal. Kudos for you to be the first :) I really enjoyed the story. It has a nice flow and just enjoyable.

Bonus: 5/5

I LOVE JONGUP! That’s all. 

TOTAL: 78/100

With Bonus: 83/100