Dear Jeong Yonghwa,

I don’t know where to start. I don’t even know what this letter is going to be about. I’ve been crying for the past few hours and suddenly I remember you. These past months, I do remember you a lot. A LOT. When I see your face, suddenly I’ll burst into tears.

You know, there’s only one thing I regret about you. It’s the fact that I didn’t know you sooner. Ever since you let yourself be exposed to the world about three years ago, I missed two and a half years of it. And during these short amount of time, I came to respect you. A lot. As a musician, as an actor, as a person, as a man. I do respect you. I know some of your stories and how you dealt with them all. It got me wondering. How the hell did you do it? How the hell did you survive from such hells and still be the kind of person you are today? You… You are an amazing person, Jeong Yonghwa.

Sometimes, when I have a hard, hard time, I would think of you and ask myself such question like, “Jeong Yonghwa, if it were you, what would you have done?”

It boggles me when I look at you with your easy-going nature, surrounded by so many friends, and the people around you just can’t help but adore and admire you. How the hell did you do it? With so many expectations and pressure you deal with everyday, with so many responsibilities on your shoulders, with so many insults on your way, how did you do it? How did you say ‘ off’ to them all? How did you manage to maintain your good soul? How come you didn’t become ‘dark’ and bitter?

How could you still have your dreams untainted?

And how did you achieve those dreams?

What did you do, Jeong Yonghwa???

I really want to have a long, long, long conversation with you. I want to know how your mind works. I need to know how can you be so full of positivity in the middle of thousands negativities.

I… I lost words.

Jeong Yonghwa, to tell you the truth, you remind me of who I used to be. When I look at you, it’s like I look at myself all those years ago. It’s a distant memory but I still remember it as if it was yesterday. Well, but things happened. Things always happened and here I am, a survivor but totally changed. And unfortunately, I don’t like the person I’ve become. I turned away from my sweet, sweet dreams and I’m too afraid to make a new one. I’m a coward. I’m scared to take the chance to be happy because I’m terrified it’d be taken away when I least expect it. I don’t let myself to fill the space in someone’s heart. I don’t dare to accept any man’s affection. I just… I just want to be alone.

But enough about me. What I meant to say is… I guess I just want to thank you, Jeong Yonghwa, for proving to me that the kind like you does exist. You prove to me that this world is not hopeless, after all. You prove to me pure soul is still possible to be found.

Now, now, I know you aren’t perfect. I’m sure sometimes you feel tired and angry and sad and you also make mistakes, because you’re still a human, just like me. What I admire about you the most is the fact that you never let those bad happenings control you. It’s quite the opposite; you control them. I’ve been watching you, Yonghwa, and I really envy the fact that you can steer any situation to fit your consent. It’s… it’s amazing. You probably don’t know many people would find it so amazing. It’s like a dream to me.

I’ve been listening to your songs. I’ve been watching your live performances and public appearances. I’ve been reading your interviews. I don’t know what to say. I’m not in my right mind now so I’m not sure I’ll make much sense. I just can say… I can sense your self-confidence so clearly. You’re so confident of yourself without being arrogant and it’s… please don’t be tired of this word… it’s amazing. The way you deliver each lyric, the way you strum your instruments, the way you stand in the middle of the stage, the way your eyes look at the audiences… they all speak of pure confidence. You own everything that’s thrown at you. The stage, the audience, the verses, the music… your whole life… it’s all yours. You’re amazing like that.

I’ve seen people bashing you, underestimating you, insulting you… but then what did you do? You just laughed it off and came back with such wonderful songs and lyrics… knowing that those people won’t ever shut up, anyway, but you never let them stand in your way. You still can lift your chin up and sit down in your desk, drawing the curtains shut and stay up all night making dozens of songs. I should tell you not many people can do that. Me, for example. Yeah… I would cry and no longer have much will to continue what I do, even though I love doing it so much.

Do you realize what you do to people, Jeong Yonghwa? Your smile has the power to heal. Yes, everytime I see you smiling, I feel so serene… like, ah… there’s this someone who still can smile like that after everything he went through. It’s very reassuring and, like I said, healing.

If I were to dedicate a song for you, it would be “Wanna Be Like You” that you wrote the lyrics yourself.

Let's make a run from all we know
We'll find a way and get back stronger again
Too many times I've wondered why
I feel ashamed only to be around

I'm living a lie, 
But trying to find a way out of this

I wanna feel. I wanna bleed
I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
I wanna scream out in the night
I wanna make love like there's no tomorrow
I wanna be like you

Let's run away into the dark

We'll find a light and get back stronger again
I'll get around I'll come around
I'll stay awake ‘cause I am dying for more

Been living a lie more than a lifetime
Now I see

I wanna feel. I wanna bleed
I wanna live like there's no tomorrow
I wanna scream out in the night
I wanna make love like there's no tomorrow

I wanna be like you