Anorexia is a "Compliment."
Over the last year, I've gained weight. I was always an athlete and for the first two years of high school sports were part of my daily life until I got injured. I was supposed to be able to play this spring but because I needed another surgery I couldn't. Sports is something I love with all of my heart and I was sad (I wouldn't say depressed) since I couldn't play. So I guess eating was a way I dealt with it. I'm not obese or anything but recently my family has been making me feel like I'm a sumo wrestler. They like pointing out how heavier I got because you know I wouldn't notice since it is my body. Notice the sarcasm? Anyways, it's always hard to hear them say such things and at times I ask myself why did this happen to me? I just want to rewind time and avoid this whole thing. It's not again like I wanted to be hurt and crap.
So today my sister who is 21, 5'2 (?) and maybe 95 or 100 lbs called me fat. She got mad because my parents don't make me do any chores since I'm still recovering and I was like okay? And she just kept going on and saying how I used to be skinny (135lbs) and now I was fat (155 lbs, 5'4, 17) She kept laughing to herself like it was the funniest thing ever and I was getting pissed. I was glaring at her and she goes: "Why is the fat girl staring at me? Do you think I'm a sandwich?"
Then rashly I said at least I'm not anorexic like you.
I've done a research seminar on eating disorders and the society's idea of body image, so I know a few signs of anorexia and how the world works.
Originally my sister, even though I can't stand her, is small and skinny, that's how she is built. But I was so angry that was the only thing I could say. And to be honest, I swear she is. The other day, she took photos of her food and said: "I'm not going to eat it all, I just want people to think I eat alot." ... She barley ate a fourth of it. And it's one thing to want to stay in shape but she over-exercises as well. Her response to my comment?
"That's a compliment." SHOT. I looked at her like she was an idiot because well she is! Since when was being anorexic considered as a good thing? Her reasoning: "People would rather be skinny than fat." No. I think people would rather be healthy and live longer.
I think beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, skin color and gender. Yes there are slim beautiful girls but there are also curvy beautiful girls.
The fact that she really said that makes me rethink this entire world. Because although there is some truth behind it, it's just disappointing. It shows how really jacked up this place is.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way. It just takes the right person to see it and that's what I believe. I'm not America's Next Top Model but I do think I carry beauty. Everyone should be able to feel special and pretty but sadly because of people who think like my sister, they don't. Sometimes I don't get this world.
On an end note, I'm okay with my weight gain because one day, I will end up like Kourtney Kardashian (I don't watch that show just an example, not sure if I even spelled that right haha). I'm not ashamed of who I am which was why I shared my information with you lovely people. I can always lose the pounds I gained and get back into shape if I work hard enough. Although, sometimes I do wish I could go back in time, whenever I think about the wonderful people I've met because of my knee, I don't feel so bad. If it wasn't because of my injury, I wouldn't have even looked at AFF or realized how much I love writing. I wouldn't have met my awesome physical therapists and figured who my real friends were. And the people I've met here, I'm blessed to have encountered you all.
This is a pretty incoherent rant but thanks for reading and remember you're beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise :)
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